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Top news stories of the day

Biden Unveils Cool Teen Migrant Detainment Center Where Youths Can Hang Out And Never Leave

CARRIZO SPRINGS, TX—In an effort to provide vulnerable youths with a structured, supervised environment, President Joe Biden unveiled a hip teen migrant detainment center Tuesday where kids could hang out and never leave. “We think migrant teenagers are going to love getting a chance to kick back and chillax in this fenced-off compound from which they cannot escape,” said Biden, touting the facility’s air hockey table, pinball machine, and miles of unscalable barbed wire that would allow teenagers to comingle with other undocumented aliens to their hearts’ content. “We’ve got snacks and sodas, cool tunes on the radio 24/7, really everything a kid who’s been torn apart from his family could want! And, they’ll have plenty of time to try and beat their high score on the Ms. Pacman or Tetris arcade cabinets while they’re waiting to be deported to their home country. Rock on, kiddos!” At press time, Biden supporters across the country were organizing a fundraising campaign to help provide the center with a new trophy case. \n
2/23/2021 11:45:00 PM
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Archaeologists Uncover Separate Team Of Archaeologists Digging Towards Them From Other Side Of Globe

MENDOZA, ARGENTINA—Announcing that they had made an astounding once-in-a-lifetime discovery, a team of archaeologists from Rutgers University Thursday reportedly uncovered a separate team of archaeologists digging toward them from the other side of the globe. “While our initial assumption was that we had stumbled on the previously unknown descendants of some ancient race of upside-down people, it turns out that this was a group of Canadian and Chinese archaeologists who had dug through the center of the Earth from a site in Mongolia,” said lead archaeologist Denise Mendoza, adding that the newly discovered archaeologists were like her own team in many respects and even used many of the same tools. “At first, we thought we were looking in a mirror, but as we moved our hands back and forth with these subterranean natives, we realized that we were actually from two different sides of the planet. We have a lot to learn from this group and their ways of tunneling through the earth, so we’ve brought in teams of anthropologists to attempt to speak to them in their own tongue in order to glean information into their way of life. It appears that, much like us, they also use small brushes to clean dust and debris from artifacts. Ultimately, we’re hopeful that this is discovery will offer crucial additions to our understanding of how they do archaeological work elsewhere on the planet.” The archaeological team added that it had had to tread carefully after one of the members of the team fell in love with one of the archaeologists who had dug through from the other side of the globe.\n
2/21/2021 4:00:00 AM
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‘The Penis Is The Male Reproductive Organ,’ Says Teacher To 5th-Grade Class That Has Already Watched Hundreds Of Hours Of Hardcore Pornography

STAMFORD, CT—In a sexual education course intended to broaden the children’s knowledge of the important issue, elementary school teacher Sandra Burns announced Friday that “the penis is the male reproductive organ” to a fifth-grade class that had already watched hundreds of hours of hardcore pornography. “When the male sex organ becomes erect, it can be inserted into the vagina to procreate,” said Burns to the classroom of students who had seen the act performed countless times in thousands of internet videos, their eyes glazing over during the instructional session as they recalled the torrent of high-definition content depicting sexual congress from all possible angles and in all its known variations. “Now, the female clitoris can be seen here [or in the xHamster ‘squirting amateur co-ed’ video that was making the rounds between your classmates a few weeks ago]. Okay? I know it might be embarrassing to talk about, but feel free to ask questions, if need be.” At press time, Burns admitted to being impressed with the class for their restraint while learning about the difficult subject.\n
2/20/2021 1:15:00 AM
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Biden Unveils Cool Teen Migrant Detainment Center Where Youths Can Hang Out And Never Leave

CARRIZO SPRINGS, TX—In an effort to provide vulnerable youths with a structured, supervised environment, President Joe Biden unveiled a hip teen migrant detainment center Tuesday where kids could hang out and never leave. “We think migrant teenagers are going to love getting a chance to kick back and chillax in this fenced-off compound from which they cannot escape,” said Biden, touting the facility’s air hockey table, pinball machine, and miles of unscalable barbed wire that would allow teenagers to comingle with other undocumented aliens to their hearts’ content. “We’ve got snacks and sodas, cool tunes on the radio 24/7, really everything a kid who’s been torn apart from his family could want! And, they’ll have plenty of time to try and beat their high score on the Ms. Pacman or Tetris arcade cabinets while they’re waiting to be deported to their home country. Rock on, kiddos!” At press time, Biden supporters across the country were organizing a fundraising campaign to help provide the center with a new trophy case. \n
2/23/2021 11:45:00 PM
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Archaeologists Uncover Separate Team Of Archaeologists Digging Towards Them From Other Side Of Globe

MENDOZA, ARGENTINA—Announcing that they had made an astounding once-in-a-lifetime discovery, a team of archaeologists from Rutgers University Thursday reportedly uncovered a separate team of archaeologists digging toward them from the other side of the globe. “While our initial assumption was that we had stumbled on the previously unknown descendants of some ancient race of upside-down people, it turns out that this was a group of Canadian and Chinese archaeologists who had dug through the center of the Earth from a site in Mongolia,” said lead archaeologist Denise Mendoza, adding that the newly discovered archaeologists were like her own team in many respects and even used many of the same tools. “At first, we thought we were looking in a mirror, but as we moved our hands back and forth with these subterranean natives, we realized that we were actually from two different sides of the planet. We have a lot to learn from this group and their ways of tunneling through the earth, so we’ve brought in teams of anthropologists to attempt to speak to them in their own tongue in order to glean information into their way of life. It appears that, much like us, they also use small brushes to clean dust and debris from artifacts. Ultimately, we’re hopeful that this is discovery will offer crucial additions to our understanding of how they do archaeological work elsewhere on the planet.” The archaeological team added that it had had to tread carefully after one of the members of the team fell in love with one of the archaeologists who had dug through from the other side of the globe.\n
2/21/2021 4:00:00 AM
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‘The Penis Is The Male Reproductive Organ,’ Says Teacher To 5th-Grade Class That Has Already Watched Hundreds Of Hours Of Hardcore Pornography

STAMFORD, CT—In a sexual education course intended to broaden the children’s knowledge of the important issue, elementary school teacher Sandra Burns announced Friday that “the penis is the male reproductive organ” to a fifth-grade class that had already watched hundreds of hours of hardcore pornography. “When the male sex organ becomes erect, it can be inserted into the vagina to procreate,” said Burns to the classroom of students who had seen the act performed countless times in thousands of internet videos, their eyes glazing over during the instructional session as they recalled the torrent of high-definition content depicting sexual congress from all possible angles and in all its known variations. “Now, the female clitoris can be seen here [or in the xHamster ‘squirting amateur co-ed’ video that was making the rounds between your classmates a few weeks ago]. Okay? I know it might be embarrassing to talk about, but feel free to ask questions, if need be.” At press time, Burns admitted to being impressed with the class for their restraint while learning about the difficult subject.\n
2/20/2021 1:15:00 AM
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Biden Unveils Cool Teen Migrant Detainment Center Where Youths Can Hang Out And Never Leave

CARRIZO SPRINGS, TX—In an effort to provide vulnerable youths with a structured, supervised environment, President Joe Biden unveiled a hip teen migrant detainment center Tuesday where kids could hang out and never leave. “We think migrant teenagers are going to love getting a chance to kick back and chillax in this fenced-off compound from which they cannot escape,” said Biden, touting the facility’s air hockey table, pinball machine, and miles of unscalable barbed wire that would allow teenagers to comingle with other undocumented aliens to their hearts’ content. “We’ve got snacks and sodas, cool tunes on the radio 24/7, really everything a kid who’s been torn apart from his family could want! And, they’ll have plenty of time to try and beat their high score on the Ms. Pacman or Tetris arcade cabinets while they’re waiting to be deported to their home country. Rock on, kiddos!” At press time, Biden supporters across the country were organizing a fundraising campaign to help provide the center with a new trophy case. \n
2/23/2021 11:45:00 PM
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Archaeologists Uncover Separate Team Of Archaeologists Digging Towards Them From Other Side Of Globe

MENDOZA, ARGENTINA—Announcing that they had made an astounding once-in-a-lifetime discovery, a team of archaeologists from Rutgers University Thursday reportedly uncovered a separate team of archaeologists digging toward them from the other side of the globe. “While our initial assumption was that we had stumbled on the previously unknown descendants of some ancient race of upside-down people, it turns out that this was a group of Canadian and Chinese archaeologists who had dug through the center of the Earth from a site in Mongolia,” said lead archaeologist Denise Mendoza, adding that the newly discovered archaeologists were like her own team in many respects and even used many of the same tools. “At first, we thought we were looking in a mirror, but as we moved our hands back and forth with these subterranean natives, we realized that we were actually from two different sides of the planet. We have a lot to learn from this group and their ways of tunneling through the earth, so we’ve brought in teams of anthropologists to attempt to speak to them in their own tongue in order to glean information into their way of life. It appears that, much like us, they also use small brushes to clean dust and debris from artifacts. Ultimately, we’re hopeful that this is discovery will offer crucial additions to our understanding of how they do archaeological work elsewhere on the planet.” The archaeological team added that it had had to tread carefully after one of the members of the team fell in love with one of the archaeologists who had dug through from the other side of the globe.\n
2/21/2021 4:00:00 AM
• • • • • • • • • •

‘The Penis Is The Male Reproductive Organ,’ Says Teacher To 5th-Grade Class That Has Already Watched Hundreds Of Hours Of Hardcore Pornography

STAMFORD, CT—In a sexual education course intended to broaden the children’s knowledge of the important issue, elementary school teacher Sandra Burns announced Friday that “the penis is the male reproductive organ” to a fifth-grade class that had already watched hundreds of hours of hardcore pornography. “When the male sex organ becomes erect, it can be inserted into the vagina to procreate,” said Burns to the classroom of students who had seen the act performed countless times in thousands of internet videos, their eyes glazing over during the instructional session as they recalled the torrent of high-definition content depicting sexual congress from all possible angles and in all its known variations. “Now, the female clitoris can be seen here [or in the xHamster ‘squirting amateur co-ed’ video that was making the rounds between your classmates a few weeks ago]. Okay? I know it might be embarrassing to talk about, but feel free to ask questions, if need be.” At press time, Burns admitted to being impressed with the class for their restraint while learning about the difficult subject.\n
2/20/2021 1:15:00 AM
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Comments

Most discussed news

A mister no more: Mr. Potato Head goes gender neutral (571)

NEW YORK (AP) — Mr. Potato Head is no longer a mister. Hasbro, the company that makes the potato-shaped plastic toy, is giving the spud a gender neutral new name: Potato Head. The change...

Mr. Potato Head is no longer a mister. Hasbro, the company that makes the potato-shaped plastic toy, is giving the spud a gender neutral new name: Potato Head. The change will appear on boxes this year.

One more company I will actively not be supporting.

Pay close attention to the people who are defending this....

What about ⬇️

Just laughable . What’s next in the politically correct world. ED instead of MR Ed!! How about wonder man instead of Wonder Woman

To the life boats! Republican snowflakes are melting!!!

Read more...

(395)

House passes the Equality Act to extend federal protections for LGBTQ Americans, bill now moves to Senate

Outstanding!

Every single Republican who voted against this should be ashamed. This isn't a matter of morals or whether or not you agree with someone's 'choices.' This is about equal freedoms, having the same liberties as everyone else. It's about being recognized as human beings.

What could possibly be so wrong about being gay that so many people spew such hate. I've never felt hated for being gay, but seeing the close vote really makes me want to cry out WHAT IS SO WRONG, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HATE LIKE THIS. i'm very sad to see this close vote

My high school boys basketball team would dominate any WNBA team.

Can’t wait til a few crappy men’s college basketball players identify as women and dominate the WNBA.

Read more...

Marjorie Taylor Greene posts anti-transgender sign across hall from lawmaker with transgender child (346)

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is facing sharp criticism after she posted an anti-transgender sign outside of her office, directly across the hall from another lawmaker who has a transgender child.

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is facing sharp criticism after she posted an anti-transgender sign outside of her office, directly across the hall from another lawmaker who has a transgender child.

Hey no one ever said she had manners, or heart, or decency. It's what you expect when you elect a bimbo who wouldn't know respect if she stumbled over it.

and people are surprised!

What a loathsome witch

CUNT!

Gotta get rid of that crazy lady! No one that stupid should be in a position to make laws!

Read more...

Trump's tax returns and related records turned over to Manhattan district attorney (248)

Cy Vance obtained the records Monday after the Supreme Court denied Trump's last-ditch attempts to keep them private

Trump's tax records are now in the hands of New York prosecutors after the Supreme Court denied the former President's efforts to keep them private

What about Hunter Biden ?

February 25th should become a national holiday.

Unbelievable !

MAKE MY DAY!!!!

2016 election was a fraud , perpetuated by Trump Russian cohorts. The Democrats didn't storm the Capitol Building over it.

Read more...

Lada Gaga's Dog Walker Shot, 2 Dogs Stolen (238)

Lady Gaga's dogs were targeted by thieves Wednesday night ... thieves who shot her dog walker and stole 2 of her French Bulldogs ... law enforcement sources tell TMZ.

Lada Gaga's Dog Walker Shot, 2 Dogs Stolen

No questions asked😳😳😳So just forget the dog walker getting shot I guess🤷🏾‍♀️

This whole time I thought one of her dogs was named walker and they felt the need to mention him by name... this is so sad:(

crazyyyy

Dog thieves are the scum of the Earth.

😭 Prayers for everybody! I hope Gaga, Ryan, and her dogs will be all alright 🙏✨

Read more...

NPR Cookie Consent and Choices (235)

Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell slammed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi's draft proposal for a commission to investigate the Jan. 6 attack on the U.S. Capitol, calling it 'partisan by design.'

How can an investigation of violence against all of you be partisan

Kind of too bad, how much partisanship happened under his watch!!

Hmmm. An investigation into an attack on our democracy is partisan?

What’s he scared of, I wonder

Ugh!!

Read more...

Marjorie Taylor-Greene Antagonizes Democratic Colleague With Anti-Transgender Sign (215)

The congresswoman’s neighbor at the U.S. Capitol is Rep. Marie Newman, whose daughter is transgender.

The congresswoman’s neighbor at the U.S. Capitol is Rep. Marie Newman, whose daughter is transgender.

She’s trash, MTG.

Umm, trust what science? 19th century science? Early 20th-century eugenics? If it's good enough for grandpa, it's good enough for Greene?

iamAtheistGirl Let’s stop posting her picture until it becomes a mugshot.

Rip her out! Bat shit crazy witch

Please vote that woman out of the Capitol!

Read more...

New public report to blame Saudi crown prince for 2018 killing of Jamal Khashoggi (152)

The release will mark a new chapter in U.S.-Saudi relations and a clear break from Trump's policy of equivocating about the Saudi state's role in the brutal murder.

The Biden admin. will release an intelligence report Thursday that concludes Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman approved the 2018 killing of journalist Jamal Khashoggi, three U.S. officials familiar with the matter tell NBCNews.

Time to stop sucking up to these oil rich nations, after all we won't need them soon, and they like Khashoggi will return to the dust they came from. They act with arrogance & impunity, not for much longer, oh, and keep your racehorses, we don't want your money any longer either!

I dont think anything coming out of the biden administration can be classified as an intelligence report (lmao) get real

hikingismyjam YA FUCKING THINK? HMMMMM WHERE DID THIS SAND MONKEY GET HIS INFO HMMMM BEGINS WITH.......

Muhammed Bone Saw.

All he had to do was watch. TheDissidentMov bryanfogel

Read more...

China's Xi declares 'complete victory' in poverty eradication campaign (141)

China's President Xi Jinping on Thursday declared a 'complete victory' in its poverty eradication campaign.

China's Xi declares 'complete victory' in poverty eradication campaign

🥴🤢🤮

How so? Has he reclassified people with too little income as non-human?

Isn't that one result of genocide!?

That's what a Socialist country should do. Besides the government leadership, many people devoted themselves to the achievements in the past decades.

un pais que no tiene pobres, pero tiene esclavos jajajajajajaja

Read more...

38% of Americans would give up sex for a year just to travel again, survey finds (113)

After staying home for nearly a year, Americans said they would willingly give up love, sex or money in exchange for a vacation, according to a recent survey.

38% of Americans would give up sex for a year just to travel again, survey finds

45% of Americans have a bad sex life.

Wtf kind of survey is this? 😂

Insane! ..

Did the question ask if they are currently having regular sex before making that decision?

This nonsense survey just got you unfollowed.

Read more...

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