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Man Opposes Taxing Rich Because He Knows One Day He Could Find $20 Bill On Ground

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Arguing that the nation’s top earners shouldn’t be punished simply for being successful and making a lot of money, local car wash attendant Christopher Jacobson told reporters Monday he opposed taxing the rich because he knew one day he might find a $20 bill on the ground. “You never know, I could be walking along the road and spot a cool, crisp Jackson, and the last thing I’d want is the government trying to take it,” said Jacobson, adding that while he knew the odds of ever coming into that type of wealth were slim to none, he had to be prepared just in case it were to happen. “Opportunities like that don’t come around every day. How fair is it for the IRS to swoop in the second I hit it big and grab a piece of my $20 jackpot? Plus, it’s a matter of principle: If I find any amount of money lying on the ground, whether it’s a $1 bill, a quarter, you name it—that should be mine and only mine. Uncle Sam sure as hell ain’t the one bending over to pick it up. The more you tax those earnings, the more you’re going to disincentivize people like me from pocketing those dollars when they come across them. At a certain point, why even bother?” Jacobson added that should he ever be lucky enough to stumble across a $20 bill, the first thing he’d do is shelter his gains by depositing the cash in a shadow account in the Cayman Islands.
4/5/2021 11:30:00 PM
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Covid Announces Plan To Move Operations To Texas Full-Time To Escape Burdensome Regulations

AUSTIN, TX—Bemoaning the bureaucratic red tape that had been holding it back for the past year, the Covid-19 virus announced Thursday that it would move its operation to Texas full-time to escape burdensome regulations. “Shifting my operation to Texas will give me the freedom to spread my wings and grow this pandemic in ways that are impossible in blue states,” said the coronavirus molecule, adding that it had been especially heartened by the governor’s recent decision to cut away unnecessary regulations like dining restrictions and mask mandates. “Obviously, I appreciate everything California and New York have done to help me—especially when I was just starting out. It’s just been hard watching liberal legislators pile on cumbersome restrictions despite, frankly, having no idea how to build a pandemic. Those regulations really hurt small virus particles. The Lone Star State has been nothing but welcoming to me, and I’m thrilled to call it my new home.” At press time, Covid-19 had celebrated its move with a raucous night hanging out in the atmosphere of local favorite restaurant Trudy’s North Star.\n
4/7/2021 3:50:00 AM
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More Companies Considering Hybrid Model Where Half Return To Office, Half Laid Off

PHILADELPHIA—According to a report released Wednesday from Wharton Business School, a growing number of companies are considering a hybrid model in which half of their workforce returns to the office while the other half is laid off. “The past year has really opened our eyes to far more flexible office models, wherein, say, part of our employees come back into the office and the other half stay home forever,” said SalesForce CEO Marc Benioff, one of hundreds of executives interviewed for the report who suggested they might also be open to a setup where workers commute four days of the week and then are told to clean out their desk on Friday. “What’s great is that this gives peace of mind for our workers to know that they’re still employed—at least for now. Meanwhile, it provides laid-off employees the freedom to look for a new job anywhere else they want. It’s an exciting new frontier for us, and, frankly, I only wish we’d thought of it sooner.” The report concluded that the new standard of office work might even give terminated workers the option to leave the city and move in with their parents while they sort some things out.\n
4/7/2021 8:55:00 PM
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17-Year-Old Asks Friend What It Means When Guy You Like Wants Blanket Pardon

PENSACOLA, FL—Wondering if this was a sign that their relationship was “official,” local 17-year-old high school student Sophie Garrett was overheard Wednesday asking her friend what it means when the guy you like wants a blanket pardon. “Has a guy ever mentioned something called a ‘blanket pardon,’” said the senior class treasurer to a reportedly more experienced friend, explaining that she didn’t want to look up the unfamiliar term on a school computer and risk getting detention. “He hasn’t directly asked me yet, but I peeked at some of his texts and it was mentioned several times—like, he was almost bragging about it. Not to sound like a prude, but is it normal hand stuff, or am I supposed to do more things, like, under the blanket? I don’t want to feel pressured into it, like when he asked to check if I was wearing a wire, but I don’t want him to break up with me either. Ugh, this is what I get for liking bad boys.” At press time, a note recovered at the scene confirmed that everybody at the school had already heard that Garrett did blanket pardons.\n
4/7/2021 10:02:00 PM
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Man Opposes Taxing Rich Because He Knows One Day He Could Find $20 Bill On Ground

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Arguing that the nation’s top earners shouldn’t be punished simply for being successful and making a lot of money, local car wash attendant Christopher Jacobson told reporters Monday he opposed taxing the rich because he knew one day he might find a $20 bill on the ground. “You never know, I could be walking along the road and spot a cool, crisp Jackson, and the last thing I’d want is the government trying to take it,” said Jacobson, adding that while he knew the odds of ever coming into that type of wealth were slim to none, he had to be prepared just in case it were to happen. “Opportunities like that don’t come around every day. How fair is it for the IRS to swoop in the second I hit it big and grab a piece of my $20 jackpot? Plus, it’s a matter of principle: If I find any amount of money lying on the ground, whether it’s a $1 bill, a quarter, you name it—that should be mine and only mine. Uncle Sam sure as hell ain’t the one bending over to pick it up. The more you tax those earnings, the more you’re going to disincentivize people like me from pocketing those dollars when they come across them. At a certain point, why even bother?” Jacobson added that should he ever be lucky enough to stumble across a $20 bill, the first thing he’d do is shelter his gains by depositing the cash in a shadow account in the Cayman Islands.
4/5/2021 11:30:00 PM
 • • • • • • • • • •

Covid Announces Plan To Move Operations To Texas Full-Time To Escape Burdensome Regulations

AUSTIN, TX—Bemoaning the bureaucratic red tape that had been holding it back for the past year, the Covid-19 virus announced Thursday that it would move its operation to Texas full-time to escape burdensome regulations. “Shifting my operation to Texas will give me the freedom to spread my wings and grow this pandemic in ways that are impossible in blue states,” said the coronavirus molecule, adding that it had been especially heartened by the governor’s recent decision to cut away unnecessary regulations like dining restrictions and mask mandates. “Obviously, I appreciate everything California and New York have done to help me—especially when I was just starting out. It’s just been hard watching liberal legislators pile on cumbersome restrictions despite, frankly, having no idea how to build a pandemic. Those regulations really hurt small virus particles. The Lone Star State has been nothing but welcoming to me, and I’m thrilled to call it my new home.” At press time, Covid-19 had celebrated its move with a raucous night hanging out in the atmosphere of local favorite restaurant Trudy’s North Star.\n
4/7/2021 3:50:00 AM
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More Companies Considering Hybrid Model Where Half Return To Office, Half Laid Off

PHILADELPHIA—According to a report released Wednesday from Wharton Business School, a growing number of companies are considering a hybrid model in which half of their workforce returns to the office while the other half is laid off. “The past year has really opened our eyes to far more flexible office models, wherein, say, part of our employees come back into the office and the other half stay home forever,” said SalesForce CEO Marc Benioff, one of hundreds of executives interviewed for the report who suggested they might also be open to a setup where workers commute four days of the week and then are told to clean out their desk on Friday. “What’s great is that this gives peace of mind for our workers to know that they’re still employed—at least for now. Meanwhile, it provides laid-off employees the freedom to look for a new job anywhere else they want. It’s an exciting new frontier for us, and, frankly, I only wish we’d thought of it sooner.” The report concluded that the new standard of office work might even give terminated workers the option to leave the city and move in with their parents while they sort some things out.\n
4/7/2021 8:55:00 PM
• • • • • • • • • •

17-Year-Old Asks Friend What It Means When Guy You Like Wants Blanket Pardon

PENSACOLA, FL—Wondering if this was a sign that their relationship was “official,” local 17-year-old high school student Sophie Garrett was overheard Wednesday asking her friend what it means when the guy you like wants a blanket pardon. “Has a guy ever mentioned something called a ‘blanket pardon,’” said the senior class treasurer to a reportedly more experienced friend, explaining that she didn’t want to look up the unfamiliar term on a school computer and risk getting detention. “He hasn’t directly asked me yet, but I peeked at some of his texts and it was mentioned several times—like, he was almost bragging about it. Not to sound like a prude, but is it normal hand stuff, or am I supposed to do more things, like, under the blanket? I don’t want to feel pressured into it, like when he asked to check if I was wearing a wire, but I don’t want him to break up with me either. Ugh, this is what I get for liking bad boys.” At press time, a note recovered at the scene confirmed that everybody at the school had already heard that Garrett did blanket pardons.\n
4/7/2021 10:02:00 PM
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Man Opposes Taxing Rich Because He Knows One Day He Could Find $20 Bill On Ground

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Arguing that the nation’s top earners shouldn’t be punished simply for being successful and making a lot of money, local car wash attendant Christopher Jacobson told reporters Monday he opposed taxing the rich because he knew one day he might find a $20 bill on the ground. “You never know, I could be walking along the road and spot a cool, crisp Jackson, and the last thing I’d want is the government trying to take it,” said Jacobson, adding that while he knew the odds of ever coming into that type of wealth were slim to none, he had to be prepared just in case it were to happen. “Opportunities like that don’t come around every day. How fair is it for the IRS to swoop in the second I hit it big and grab a piece of my $20 jackpot? Plus, it’s a matter of principle: If I find any amount of money lying on the ground, whether it’s a $1 bill, a quarter, you name it—that should be mine and only mine. Uncle Sam sure as hell ain’t the one bending over to pick it up. The more you tax those earnings, the more you’re going to disincentivize people like me from pocketing those dollars when they come across them. At a certain point, why even bother?” Jacobson added that should he ever be lucky enough to stumble across a $20 bill, the first thing he’d do is shelter his gains by depositing the cash in a shadow account in the Cayman Islands.
4/5/2021 11:30:00 PM
 • • • • • • • • • •

Covid Announces Plan To Move Operations To Texas Full-Time To Escape Burdensome Regulations

AUSTIN, TX—Bemoaning the bureaucratic red tape that had been holding it back for the past year, the Covid-19 virus announced Thursday that it would move its operation to Texas full-time to escape burdensome regulations. “Shifting my operation to Texas will give me the freedom to spread my wings and grow this pandemic in ways that are impossible in blue states,” said the coronavirus molecule, adding that it had been especially heartened by the governor’s recent decision to cut away unnecessary regulations like dining restrictions and mask mandates. “Obviously, I appreciate everything California and New York have done to help me—especially when I was just starting out. It’s just been hard watching liberal legislators pile on cumbersome restrictions despite, frankly, having no idea how to build a pandemic. Those regulations really hurt small virus particles. The Lone Star State has been nothing but welcoming to me, and I’m thrilled to call it my new home.” At press time, Covid-19 had celebrated its move with a raucous night hanging out in the atmosphere of local favorite restaurant Trudy’s North Star.\n
4/7/2021 3:50:00 AM
• • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • •
• • • • • • • • • •

More Companies Considering Hybrid Model Where Half Return To Office, Half Laid Off

PHILADELPHIA—According to a report released Wednesday from Wharton Business School, a growing number of companies are considering a hybrid model in which half of their workforce returns to the office while the other half is laid off. “The past year has really opened our eyes to far more flexible office models, wherein, say, part of our employees come back into the office and the other half stay home forever,” said SalesForce CEO Marc Benioff, one of hundreds of executives interviewed for the report who suggested they might also be open to a setup where workers commute four days of the week and then are told to clean out their desk on Friday. “What’s great is that this gives peace of mind for our workers to know that they’re still employed—at least for now. Meanwhile, it provides laid-off employees the freedom to look for a new job anywhere else they want. It’s an exciting new frontier for us, and, frankly, I only wish we’d thought of it sooner.” The report concluded that the new standard of office work might even give terminated workers the option to leave the city and move in with their parents while they sort some things out.\n
4/7/2021 8:55:00 PM
• • • • • • • • • •

17-Year-Old Asks Friend What It Means When Guy You Like Wants Blanket Pardon

PENSACOLA, FL—Wondering if this was a sign that their relationship was “official,” local 17-year-old high school student Sophie Garrett was overheard Wednesday asking her friend what it means when the guy you like wants a blanket pardon. “Has a guy ever mentioned something called a ‘blanket pardon,’” said the senior class treasurer to a reportedly more experienced friend, explaining that she didn’t want to look up the unfamiliar term on a school computer and risk getting detention. “He hasn’t directly asked me yet, but I peeked at some of his texts and it was mentioned several times—like, he was almost bragging about it. Not to sound like a prude, but is it normal hand stuff, or am I supposed to do more things, like, under the blanket? I don’t want to feel pressured into it, like when he asked to check if I was wearing a wire, but I don’t want him to break up with me either. Ugh, this is what I get for liking bad boys.” At press time, a note recovered at the scene confirmed that everybody at the school had already heard that Garrett did blanket pardons.\n
4/7/2021 10:02:00 PM
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Comments

Most discussed news

Trump Calls McConnell a 'Dumb Son of a Bitch' and 'Stone Cold Loser' at Donor Event (70)

The former president whined about not getting credit for the Covid-19 vaccine, saying it should be called the “Trumpcine”

Trump calls McConnell a 'dumb son of a bitch' and a 'stone cold loser' at donor event



Reported this account

Rolling Stone is obsolete. Nobody reads it, thats why they have resorted to this click bait dogshit.

Quit him. We have. ✌🏼

BoycottRollingStone

Read more...

‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Tops $350 Million at Global Box Office (25)

“Godzilla vs. Kong,” the new special effects extravaganza that imagines a battle royale between two of cinema’s most famous monsters, has surpassed $350 million at the global box …

‘Godzilla vs. Kong’ Tops $350 Million at Global Box Office

robertliefeld This was good, did what it was supposed to and was Hella fun to watch.

Grande GodzillaVsKong



Then why tf did top gun get delayed to November like what



Read more...

Incident at Iran's Natanz facility a 'terrorist action,' nuclear chief says (25)

CNN News, delivered. Select from our newsletters below and enter your email to subscribe.

Iran's Atomic Energy Organization condemned an incident at the Natanz nuclear facility, calling it a 'terrorist action'

Thanks to Joe Biden now they are going to start making nuclear missiles

A Irán hay que respetarlo y levantarle las sanciones injustas, al igual otros pueblos del mundo que las sufren, en especial su población, sin lugar a dudas.

QadrNightDateRamadan1442

Good.... Hope they all start to glow in the dark!!

who did it?

Read more...

'Dumb son of a bitch': Trump rips McConnell at Mar-a-Lago (23)

The former president spoke at an RNC donor retreat Saturday night.

Trump spent several minutes tearing into McConnell, saying that he didn’t do enough to defend him during his 2nd impeachment trial. At one point, Trump called the Senate GOP leader a “dumb son of a bitch.”

More like dominant anchor around their neck. I love it. midterms issues for gop will be cancel culture, and crying about elimination of buggy whip jobs.

The GOP cant walk away from Trump until they let go.

After all the insults against the senate minority leader this guy will still bow to the nasty former President because of lack of integrity.

“Dominate force?” Really Try to remember he lost. He’s a loser!

Stop giving the old gas bag air!

Read more...

Dwayne Johnson Open to White House Run After Poll Shows High Favorability (22)

Dwayne Johnson is open to making a run for the White House. The film superstar recently addressed the notion after a poll showed he has high favorability.

Dwayne Johnson Open to White House Run After Poll Shows High Favorability

He had BETTER up and CLOSE himself ALL THE WAY PERMANENTLY DOWN, AGAINST that idea! This nation has ALREADY had ONE felon run it into the ground; why should we allow ANOTHER to do the same?

No No No

I wish he would stop threatening us with this ... I don't know who he polled but we don't want it.

The Peoples President

It doesn’t matter what your poll says! In all seriousness, he seems like a good dude. I’m sure he wouldn’t have been nearly as bad as Trump. But no.

Read more...

Ted Cruz rips Biden over border, says U.S. on pace for 2 million illegal crossings in 2021 (21)

'We saw children, little children, walking all alone,' the Republican Texas senator said on a radio show Friday.

Ted Cruz rips Biden over border, says U.S. on pace for 2 million illegal crossings in 2021

tedcruz YIKES!! JUST A REMINDER... LADY LINDSEY GRAHAM RIPPED TED CRUZ FOR BEING TED CRUZ:

tedcruz I'm ok with them coming over. More fruit pickers and home cleaners.

tedcruz More dem voters

tedcruz I am not surprised this problem exists. I was afraid this would happen when Biden was elected. In desperation to find a solution Biden suggests a pay-off. Sorry Democrats, it won’t be that simple!

So 2 million cross the border have no right to work or claim benefits, so who's paying these people, good after the employers and shut down their new slave labor camps simple

Read more...

Police accused of threatening, pulling gun on Black Army lieutenant during Virginia traffic stop (20)

U.S. Army Lt. Caron Nazario told police he was “honestly afraid to get out” of his SUV, according to video of the incident. 'You should be,” one officer said.

A Black Army lieutenant has filed a lawsuit against police officers in Virginia for pulling their guns and pepper-spraying him during a traffic stop.

There should be a federal law enforcement officials should at least avoid at all cost not point out a gun at anyone unless they are forced to used it they should not get near talk from the car speakers caused people are afraid they trigger happy way too many times already.

Get the white supremists. I'm very hopeful they go to jail. Sue them for millions.

He also had his dog inside a crate and could not breathe these officers are disgusting the level of hate and racism and just being evil is huge. Can someone find out how his dog is doing?

Tell me if cops aren’t coward racist gestapos. If an active Army medical officer in junifform almos got kill I can’t imagine what this pig would have done if he wasn’t wearing his Army uniform. I can’t imagine what this white extremist cops have done to vulnerable brown black man

You would think military people would know better. But zebra can’t change its stripes.

Read more...

Trump Rips 'Dumb Son Of A Bitch' Mitch McConnell At RNC Donor Event: Report (19)

Trump also reportedly mocked the senator's wife, former Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao, over her decision to resign in the wake of the Jan. 6 riot.

Trump also reportedly mocked the senator's wife over her decision to resign in the wake of the Jan. 6 riot.

Lies lies!!!

Isn't it about time we left the classless rantings and insults of a first class loser at the garbage dump where they belong? We are much better than that.

Don’t worry Mitch will still suck his cock.

She had no choice but not to be a part of Charade

After burning these bridges, Trump will be left on his desert island.

Read more...

NPR Cookie Consent and Choices (17)

Janelle Jones is the Labor Department's top economist and the first Black woman in that position. She has a key role in addressing historic economic disparities that have intensified during the pandemic — in particular for communities of color.

cmclymer Let’s allow only people of color to get jobs. That’ll fix it.

Stupid

'I'm not really going to be satisfied if we return the economy to February 2020”. Should’ve kept the last guy, then. We’re completely screwed now.

barf

We are fucked!

Read more...

Op-ed: Biden is securing America’s place in the world and challenging China with his bold domestic agenda (17)

Though Biden has suffered a great deal of misfortune in his life, both personal and political, the stars have been aligned since his election.

Op-ed: Biden is securing America's place in the world and challenging China with his bold domestic agenda

🧢

🤦🏼‍♂️

Biden is brought and paid for by our enemies. Hes a traitor.

Lmao Biden can’t even complete a sentence wtf are you talking about.

One lie says it all.... the 4 trillion he hopes to generate,,, shouldn’t that say “ that he hopes to federally accumulate through taxation”? When you generate money that implies you actually did something, not just levy taxes.

Read more...

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