Nation’s Bald Citizens Band Together To Demand Their Heads Stop Being Used As Bongos

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WASHINGTON—Holding a press conference with their hairless scalps proudly exposed, the nation’s bald citizens Friday demanded that people stop using their heads as bongos. “For too long, America’s bald men have stood silently as friends, family, and random children slapped their palms against their head to play a…

WASHINGTON—Holding a press conference with their hairless scalps proudly exposed, the nation’s bald citizens Friday

demanded that people stop using their heads as bongos. “For too long, America’s bald men have stood silently as friends, family, and random children slapped their palms against their head to play a simple beat,” said 45-year-organizer Richard Clemmons, adding that although they’ve endured being used to mime Martillo rhythms for generations, it all ends today.

 

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I second that motion, please tell my wife and son…😂

A spokesman for the follicly flawed, Joe Rogaine, to address CNN later this evening.

Not my problem you're bald

shmorganboy Fair play Wee

True drummers use tits

Their momma should have laid with Tonto...problem solved.

JackManifoldTV

I'm just grateful for the attention.

i clicked on the link to give you guys a small bit of ad revenue

Guy on the left looks like Tom Segura and Louis CK combined

Northernlion As the most famous bladmun I know, how do you react?

Fools! How do you think I met my wife?

BizlyChannel

no

Nation immediately switches to using bald heads as taiko drums.

You know what bongos are made of though? That's right, skin. And bald heads are 100% skin. Conclusion? Bald heads make good bongos.

They demand to be taken seriously

It’s damn annoying, once these guys played darts on my head. I nearly lost it, I affirmably told them after this game thats it.

Dude on the left is Louis CK after a 6 month LA Fitness membership

imESAM

I wonder if data scientists in the future will find that this tweet caused an uptick in bald bongos for the day 😂

Wait… is this for real?!?!

jpegmafia

Y’all got something against us bald people?

alcademics Is this a real thing? 😜

Nation's bald citizens paralyzed with rage, and island rhythms!

The feds will start charging eveyone for unrealized Hair loss.

I believe you mean citizens experiencing hairlessness

cc: juliussharpe

this is not who I am and this is not okay

Are they asking the bongo players to beat it?

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