Ask Sahaj: My boyfriend’s parents treat me like an outsider

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Her boyfriend’s parents see him as their golden child, and they treat the letter writer like a “random woman who wandered in off the street.”

I’ve been dating a wonderful man for three years. I feel like an outsider when we spend time with his parents, especially since we moved away from our hometown last summer. It makes sense that they want to catch up with their son now that they dont see him every week. But how should I handle my discomfort? It is always most acute the first day, but if the visit is four days, they usually treat us both warmly by day 2 or 3.

In the nine months since he moved, we have spent close to 30 days total with his parents which included visits to our hometown for both Jewish , Christian , and secular holidays. We stay with them since they have a guest suite and my family does not have room for us. I am not very close with my family. We have discussed marriage, and it stresses me out to be stuck with a second family who is lukewarm on me, who will never be impressed no matter how hard I try to impress them.

 

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