Ask Sahaj: He told me he saw a future with me. Now he has a new girlfriend.

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When they broke up, the letter writer held out hope he’d reach out in the future. Instead, he has a new girlfriend.

The guy I was seeing on and off for just shy of two years is with someone else. We never had a label on it, but we were exclusive. I thought we ended things amicably and left the door open. He wasn’t ready or able to meet my needs, and I didn’t want to stew in anxiety anymore. He said he knew that eventually he’d want to be in a monogamous relationship again, he just didn’t know when. I told him that I hoped he’d reach out to me and see if I’m available because I want to be with him.

I know that I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t consistently meet my needs, but it still hurts that he wasn’t willing to give us a chance. Part of me doesn’t want to let go, and part of me wants to forget he ever existed; all of me loves him very much and still wants him in my life.It is natural to hold out hope that your ex would come back to you, especially if you really wanted it to work and were willing to wait. Two things struck me from your letter.

 

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