BBC Radio 4 - Woman's Hour - 'Acknowledge that it's hard': How to look after yourself as a carer

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“Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean 'me first'; it means 'me too'.” Read author and carer pennywincer's best tips for self care when you are caring for others 👉 CarersWeek TenderBook

Many of us face the prospect of caring for someone else at some point in our lives, whether it's a parent, child or partner. It's estimated that there are 7 million people in the UK caring for loved ones and Penny Wincer has been a carer twice - first to her mother, and now as a single parent to her autistic son.

"Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean me first; it means 'me too'. Advice can seem ludicrous to some carers – how can you get enough sleep if you’re up half the night? How can you do an exercise class when you’re ‘on duty’ 24/7? “You cannot do this alone. Supporting someone we love can be really challenging, even if we are very glad to be doing it. We need support. Humans are not supposed to live in isolation. So reaching out to other carers online and in person can help us feel less alone.”“A lot of suffering that happens with carers is this idea that 'it shouldn’t be this way' - that our child shouldn’t be disabled, or our partner shouldn’t have become disabled.

“When we understand that and we instead look to disabled people to understand what their experiences are actually like, we can be less afraid for our loved one’s futures. We need to look at it as a quite natural, normal part of life. It’s a very common experience, and caring for somebody who is disabled is also quite a common experience.”“You need to acknowledge that it is hard and you are doing a good job in often very challenging circumstances – so let yourself off the hook.

 

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