Women Are Sharing Comments Their Mothers Made To Them Growing Up That They Later Realized Were Projections Of Their Own Insecurities
"When I was a teenager, my mom made all kinds of hurtful comments about my body that probably led to my long-term eating disorder — which she would also make jokes about. It's unclear whether or not sherealized that I was legitimately struggling. She also always had something to say about my breast size. I'm a DDD, and she was an A cup — I must've gotten that from my dad's side of the family. When I was younger, I felt a lot of shame about my body and sex.
"My mom told me that I didn't have 'ballet arms' when I was 6 or 7. I quit dancing immediately and have always been self-conscious of my arms. My mom was a ballerina for 15 years. Recently, I learned that when she and her sister were little, a teacher had told her sister that she didn’t have ballet arms. I guess it made my mom feel special to have been chosen, and she wanted to continue to feel special by putting me down.
"My mom told me that I 'looked like a whore' when I was 12 and tried mascara on my lower lashes for the first time. She made sure I didn't really get a grip on makeup until my 20s. She also commented that I looked like 'a homeless child on the street' after I chose my own, slightly hippie-style clothes at a flea market when I was 14. She gave me the impression that I just wasn't a visual person. It lasted until my 20s.
"When I was 21, I was depressed because I broke up with my abusive boyfriend who I somehow wanted back. I weighed 99 pounds. My bones showed everywhere. When my parents came to visit, my mom said, 'You look so good, skinny, and slim like that!' I told her that I'd barely eat and cry myself to sleep every night. After a few moments of silence, she replied, 'It's going to be fine. Just don't get fat like I did.
"My mom kept all her journals from her teen years. She had a very obvious, undiagnosed eating disorder, so these journals mostly contain obsessive measurements of her chest, waist, hips, dress size, and weight. She used to get drunk and weigh me to point out how I was much 'less hot and healthy' compared to her. She would also tell me that I was 'wasting the great genes she gave me' by not being thin. Big yikes. As you might expect, it created an eating disorder.
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