Uneasy Lies the Head of the Black Mom

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'As the daughter of a Black man, the widow of a Black man and the mother of a Black man, I have lived in a state of anxiety about the safety of the men in my life, for my entire life.' BlackLivesMatter

“After he’s received a graduate degree, married and had children of his own—even then I will worry, because his Blackness will not have faded,” writes Covington. I don’t worry about his non-Black friends—they’re congenial, working hard at their first jobs post-college, just as he is. I worry about those who don’t know my son, never had a chat with him.

I’ve had to teach my son that whenever he goes into a store, even if it’s raining outside, he must slide his hoodie off his head and leave it off until he leaves the premises. He has to take his hands out of his pockets while waiting for the cashier to ring him up. He must put his purchases in a bag—not walk out of the store with them in his hands—and always, always, get a receipt and don’t discard it until he gets home. .

I remind him that he has to think, not only for himself, but for people who will assume he’s a criminal or just up to no good, because that’s what they’ve been told. You’ll be considered dangerous until you’re well into your seventies. About the police, I say: “Make sure your phone is on and fully charged before you leave the house. If you see the flashing lights of a police vehicle behind you, activate your phone, pull over and place your hands on the steering wheel. If you’re a passenger in the car, at all times, keep your empty hands where the police can see them. Again, make sure your phone is recording.

When the downstairs door finally opens and the hushed steps to his room recede down the hallway, I take my first deep breath of the night. Relieved, that at least on this night, my son’s name will not be preceded by a hashtag.The coronavirus pandemic and the response by federal, state and local authorities is fast-moving. is keeping a focus on aspects of the crisis—especially as it impacts women and their families—often not reported by mainstream media.

 

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