Tom Brady, Nfl Football, Football, Vol 56 Issue 12

Tom Brady, Nfl Football

Tom Brady Awakens From Week-Long Kombucha Bender To Discover He’s A Tampa Bay Buccaneer

Tom Brady Awakens From Week-Long Kombucha Bender To Discover He’s A Tampa Bay Buccaneer

3/26/2020 6:35:00 PM

Tom Brady Awakens From Week-Long Kombucha Bender To Discover He’s A Tampa Bay Buccaneer

TAMPA BAY—Skeptically looking down at the red jersey laying on the floor beside empty bottles of probiotics, a bleary-eyed Tom Brady woke up from a week-long long kombucha bender Thursday to discover that he signed with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. “Ugh, the last thing I remember was taking that shot of ginger lemon tea,” said Brady, vaguely recalling a conversation about his impending free agency with a juice bar employee who had tried to cut him off after his 8th cold-pressed bottle of pomegranate cleanse kombucha. “How did I get here? And why do I have all these pictures of Bruce Arians on my phone? Shit, I decide to cut loose for one week and look at what happens. I’m never breaking pliability again.” At press time, Brady was working up the courage to call his wife, Gisele Bündchen, and tell her that he had sold their home.

Read more: The Onion »

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Actually, TomBrady just wanted to join a team that had his initials. So every shirt he wears is a reminder that 'it was made exclusively for him'. In response, TB Buccaneers ownership has changed the team name to the Tampa Pirates. Hahaah TrevTompkins Zach2Greenberg szenmaster 😂😂 that explains it LOL!! That got me laughing this morning. Thanks!

It's a strange world we live in... Nick_at_nite95 SheridanS175 HorsePajamas chasekelley77 That is some hideous wallpaper in the background. Tommy Boy is my favorite white guy in the NFL...may start watching Buc's again...Maybe... jacobpauI March Madness... one tiny change, try 'blender-bender' HATE FOOTBALL but love The Onion!

Justin Gatlin Will Compete In 2021 Olympics, Inspired By Tom BradyJustin Gatlin's NOT retiring and will compete in the 2021 Olympics -- thanks to some inspiration from Tom Brady . My Guy gettheGold Inspired by steroids and HGH maybe...

Bucs Already Selling Tom Brady #12 Jerseys, QB Puts On Cliche Clinic In PhonerIt seems the Bucs have already spoken for Brady when it comes to his jersey number ... because they're already selling it on their website!!! I want one Desperate much. What a shame.

Tom Brady expresses ‘love’ for Patriots, says transition to Buccaneers will be complicatedThe quarterback’s introductory news conference with his new team was held via conference call.

Tom Brady Tries To Secure 'TB x TB' Trademark After Signing With Bucs'TB X TB' could soon belong to TB12. This Tampa bay move doesn’t make sense - what are you going to do with a +40 quarterback? 59 million can only take you so far That’s what it’s all about.

Tom Brady expresses ‘love’ for Patriots, says transition to Buccaneers will be complicatedThe quarterback’s introductory news conference with his new team was held via conference call.

Bucs Already Selling Tom Brady #12 Jerseys, QB Puts On Cliche Clinic In PhonerIt seems the Bucs have already spoken for Brady when it comes to his jersey number ... because they're already selling it on their website!!! I want one Desperate much. What a shame.