Viol 56 Issue 47, Joseph Biden

Viol 56 Issue 47, Joseph Biden

Staff Slowly Introducing Biden To Oval-Shaped Rooms For Smoother Transition To White House

Staff Slowly Introducing Biden To Oval-Shaped Rooms For Smoother Transition To White House

11/25/2020 12:05:00 AM

Staff Slowly Introducing Biden To Oval-Shaped Rooms For Smoother Transition To White House

WILMINGTON, DE—Stressing that the preparation would help the administration hit the ground running, staff members announced plans Tuesday to slowly introduce Joe Biden to oval-shaped rooms for a smoother transition to the White House. “Our team wants to make sure the president elect doesn’t miss a beat on day one, which is why we’re spending the next 50 days gradually removing all corners from his residence,” said deputy chief of staff Jen O’Malley Dillon, revealing that Biden would be consulting with a team of the nation’s foremost architects on the implications of seeing curved walls wherever he looked. “What many presidential administrations don’t anticipate is exactly how curvy the walls are going to be. In fact, President Carter’s reelection campaign was doomed from the beginning because of how many hours he spent daily feeling his way along the sides of a wall, expecting to bump into a corner. He never did. We don’t intend to let that happen again.” At press time, the administration had sent out an email announcing a fundraising goal of $15 million to build an exact replica of the Oval Office in downtown Wilmington for Biden to explore.

WILMINGTON, DE—Stressing that the preparation would help the administration hit the ground running, staff members announced plans Tuesday to slowly introduce Joe Biden to oval-shaped rooms for a smoother transition to the White House. “Our team wants to make sure the p

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resident elect doesn’t miss a beat on day one, which is why we’re spending the next 50days gradually removing all corners from his residence,” said deputy chief of staff Jen O’Malley Dillon, revealing that Biden would be consulting with a team of the nation’s foremost architects on the implications of seeing curved walls wherever he looked. “What many presidential administrations don’t anticipate is exactly how curvy the walls are going to be. In fact, President Carter’s reelection campaign was doomed from the beginning because of how many hours he spent daily feeling his way along the sides of a wall, expecting to bump into a corner. He never did. We don’t intend to let that happen again.” At press time, the administration had sent out an email announcing a fundraising goal of $15 million to build an exact replica of the Oval Office in downtown Wilmington for Biden to explore.

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uu Imao So are you guys just the babylon bee now or what? Poor onion, still wishing it was just as old man Bernie. it was all fun and games when they were making fun of Trump but now everybody is crying 8 years of Vice Presidentship. Must have practically slept there. Stupid Yeah, 'cause you know, he's never been in the Oval before. You twits.

and tell him to sit in the corner Remember that the Onion is owned by a vulture capital firm and every single thing they post is designed to maximize affluent white male outrage. he was vice president for eight years i think he's been in the fucking oval office before Wut i will fight you whiteace24 If you don’t aclimate a new president they’ll have trouble going to the bathroom and it’ll be a pain potty training him

You forgot the funny Cry more I don’t understand what the joke is supposed to be. Here’s something that’s actually funny, Bernie lost every single county in Michigan. Ok Joe, yellow line leads to the Oval Office. Blue line to the bathroom. Red line to the middle school. This was so much funnier of a Biden angle

Hello, please check out my gig if you need any kind of graphic design. White House staff rearrange oval office, Biden falls over desk. Why can’t we just move trumps bed to the Oval Office set? We don’t even have to tell him he isn’t president anymore. Just put a fake Fox News stream on tv telling him he won everything. He’ll never know it’s not real. It’s not like he’s going to read a briefing or something.

(!) THE CLAIM THAT BIDEN IS PRESIDENT-ELECT IS DISPUTED, A MERE TRANNY FANTASY UNSUPPORTED BY LAW OR FACTS Hey . Yeah Right. That’s if Biden can find the Oval Rooms. He needs a Guilds Dog to help him to find the Oval Rooms. LMAO! Biden: Can I please see the basement?' Good news guys the onion is being satirical again.

From ovaltine to the oval office. What a treat. Start gently. No ellipses until the third week. Dementia is tough. He has spent more time in that room than the current twat. He´ll be alrigth. I'm so glad to not having to question if The Onion is reporting actual news. After 4 years, obvious parody is obvious again.

Wish he’d wear a hazmat suit. Good to see that the Onion will be keeping an eye on Uncle Joe. It's going to take some time to transition T**** from a oval room to a small square room with a semi open faced door. The staff asks for patience. TracyWaldren1 Padded would be better. Please keep up your bipartisanship!

A square block in a round room run by a triangle all trying to get through a wall. Kids are usually pretty adept at those puzzles. Biden hasn’t been inaugurated yet but he’s acting like he’s the President WHY. Can’t ANYONE be respective. Obviously the answer is NO. Hence why if our politicians can’t be respectful doesn’t no one in this country know what being respectful is

No need if he does get on he won’t be there long He gets to sit behind the desk this time... Hahaha cope cope cope cope Looool it's because he's old Forgot to switch over from the Babylon Bee account again. I'm sensing a shifting of audience for the Onion. What about Oblong Rooms? He is not going anywhere except maybe to Jail.

mtwidns He graduated Oval Office kindergarten 4 years ago Who may file a Rule 11 sanctions motion ? Onion hates orange. Where's Diamond Joe? finally fake news that isnt real. Carry on onion Carry on bring back diamond joe you cowards And Trump staff slowly introducing Trump to padded rooms. Go back to Diamond Joe, you dongs

😂🤣💀 Even the Onion has begun to transition its satire to the next administration. While some people object to it, Crate Training can be so useful in these situations lovebern1