WILMINGTON, DE—Stressing that the preparation would help the administration hit the ground running, staff members announced plans Tuesday to slowly introduce Joe Biden to oval-shaped rooms for a smoother transition to the White House.
“What many presidential administrations don’t anticipate is exactly how curvy the walls are going to be. In fact, President Carter’s reelection campaign was doomed from the beginning because of how many hours he spent daily feeling his way along the sides of a wall, expecting to bump into a corner. He never did. We don’t intend to let that happen again.
I love The Onion. ❤️😂
And stairs. Why can't presidents get a jet way coming out of the plane like the rest of us?
I like this but hasn't he already been there? When Barrack Obama was president?
Anyone agree that this has hidden meaning? “In fact, President Carter’s reelection campaign was doomed from the beginning because of how many hours he spent daily feeling his way along the sides of a wall, expecting to bump into a corner. He never did.”
FreeDiamondJoe.
Hes moving back in!
I love you but maybe this not so funny?
Ok,where do they keep the prune juice I gotta go pee everyone out ,time for my nap what did I get hired for? What place is this ? Ohhhh look at all the pretty colors!
BrandonFugal wtf!
Did they do the old joke where they told him to find the silver dollar hidden in the corner of the room?.. 😏
JustaCoinToss Have you heard of how people work alzheimers are effected by white rooms? If you wear white pants they might freak out because they'll just see a floating torso. fr
I was hoping for more years of Diamond Joe.
BidenInsultBot is oval your favorite shape?
Do they have an oval basement at the White House?
I'm sure Joe will forget where he is at from time to time and a simple trip to the restroom will be like a swat team rescue. Q17-129
Progressively adding more and more corners.
I thought The Onion was supposed to be funny.🤔
kalasaurus Champ Biden Reveals Chaotic Plans for Rose Garden Revamp OR Evangelical Leaders Worry About Second Gentleman’s Plan for Hidden Matzah in Place of Egg Hunt — “obscures the meaning of the season,” says PA Archbishop who plans to start “Keep Egg-Laying Bunny in Easter” group.
After being upstaged by reality for the past four years, has lost its edge.
kalasaurus He’s been there before. Remember? I really hope y’all don’t intend to stay this lazy.
Hope he don't get confused and Walk around in Circles. DOH...
🤣🤣🤣
'Reaching across the aisle to the insurrectionists' humor!! Expanding your market?
We are two days out and The Onion articles are finally starting to look normal again.
The man was Vice President for 8 years. He’s been in that room a few times.
'...go round and round in a circle game.'
Oh Joe, it's been so long since your glory days!
where's Worm?
Ok that's funny. BidenInsultBot
I'm soooo looking forward to four years of Biden-as-dottering-old-man jokes from the Onion as opposed to the previous four years of this-is-what-hell-is-like-isn't-it jokes from the last four years.
Is this supposed to be amusing? If so, it's time to fire your writers and start again.
That's good. Don't want to have a brain aneurysm trying to figure out where the corner table should go.
Soon, Trump’s staff willl be slowly introducing Trump to 8’ x 6’ rooms for a smoother transition to prison.
Biden has also been introduced to many different coloured buttons to press. By Wednesday it is expected he should be ready for the red coloured one.
Looking for the basement
look jack:
The accompanying description as it appears in every meeting that involves the President: Oval...it's friendlier Joe.
Why, do they think he will keep looking for the corners?
This is funny because it's true 🤔🧐
FAKE NEWS
This is thought provoking
He keeps saying “nobody puts baby in a corner” and looking confused
He'd get lost in a corridor.
Be gentle. Please start with squircles.
Only thing missing is the rubber
uu
Imao
So are you guys just the babylon bee now or what?
Poor onion, still wishing it was just as old man Bernie.
it was all fun and games when they were making fun of Trump but now everybody is crying
8 years of Vice Presidentship. Must have practically slept there.
Stupid
Yeah, 'cause you know, he's never been in the Oval before. You twits.
and tell him to sit in the corner
Remember that the Onion is owned by a vulture capital firm and every single thing they post is designed to maximize affluent white male outrage.
he was vice president for eight years i think he's been in the fucking oval office before
Wut
i will fight you
whiteace24
If you don’t aclimate a new president they’ll have trouble going to the bathroom and it’ll be a pain potty training him
You forgot the funny
Cry more
I don’t understand what the joke is supposed to be.
Here’s something that’s actually funny, Bernie lost every single county in Michigan.
Ok Joe, yellow line leads to the Oval Office. Blue line to the bathroom. Red line to the middle school.
This was so much funnier of a Biden angle
Hello, please check out my gig if you need any kind of graphic design.
White House staff rearrange oval office, Biden falls over desk.
Why can’t we just move trumps bed to the Oval Office set? We don’t even have to tell him he isn’t president anymore. Just put a fake Fox News stream on tv telling him he won everything. He’ll never know it’s not real. It’s not like he’s going to read a briefing or something.
(!) THE CLAIM THAT BIDEN IS PRESIDENT-ELECT IS DISPUTED, A MERE TRANNY FANTASY UNSUPPORTED BY LAW OR FACTS
Hey . Yeah Right. That’s if Biden can find the Oval Rooms. He needs a Guilds Dog to help him to find the Oval Rooms.
LMAO! Biden: Can I please see the basement?'
Good news guys the onion is being satirical again.
From ovaltine to the oval office. What a treat.
Start gently. No ellipses until the third week.
Dementia is tough.
He has spent more time in that room than the current twat. He´ll be alrigth.
I'm so glad to not having to question if The Onion is reporting actual news. After 4 years, obvious parody is obvious again.
Wish he’d wear a hazmat suit.
Good to see that the Onion will be keeping an eye on Uncle Joe.
It's going to take some time to transition T**** from a oval room to a small square room with a semi open faced door. The staff asks for patience.
TracyWaldren1 Padded would be better.
Please keep up your bipartisanship!
A square block in a round room run by a triangle all trying to get through a wall. Kids are usually pretty adept at those puzzles.
Biden hasn’t been inaugurated yet but he’s acting like he’s the President WHY. Can’t ANYONE be respective. Obviously the answer is NO. Hence why if our politicians can’t be respectful doesn’t no one in this country know what being respectful is
No need if he does get on he won’t be there long
He gets to sit behind the desk this time...
Hahaha cope cope cope cope
Looool it's because he's old
Forgot to switch over from the Babylon Bee account again.
I'm sensing a shifting of audience for the Onion.
What about Oblong Rooms?
He is not going anywhere except maybe to Jail.
mtwidns
He graduated Oval Office kindergarten 4 years ago
Who may file a Rule 11 sanctions motion ?
Onion hates orange.
Where's Diamond Joe?
finally fake news that isnt real. Carry on onion Carry on
bring back diamond joe you cowards
And Trump staff slowly introducing Trump to padded rooms.
Go back to Diamond Joe, you dongs
😂🤣💀
Even the Onion has begun to transition its satire to the next administration.
While some people object to it, Crate Training can be so useful in these situations
lovebern1
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