WASHINGTON—Citing the long-standing practice of maintaining boundaries between the classes, Senate Parliamentarian Elizabeth MacDonough asked Democrats to cut a minimum wage increase from their stimulus package Friday due to an obscure rule requiring poor citizens to needlessly suffer.
“Raising the minimum wage would violate an 1834 statue put in place to inflict arbitrary pain on the nation’s most vulnerable groups,” said MacDonough, explaining that the rule was used as precedent to stop the 95th Congress from increasing the minimum wage to $2.50 in 1977. “There’s only one interpretation of this rule as it clearly states that providing relief for impoverished Americans is not to be included in any budgetary legislation. These policies exist for a reason.
I thought was supposed to be a fake news site
Names it “The Mother Teresa” bill
Seems fair and logical
TheresaSchroe14 Where's the lie?
Wanna pay 25 bucks for a McDonald’s meal? Let’s go for that 15/ minimum wage then!!
Whoever's running the onion should run for office.
fredric_wertham Kamala Harris can, and must, overrule the Senate parliamentarian.
JohnFGresham That the Vice President could have dismissed. VP Harris could have overridden the parliamentarian ruling without any fight. Waived her hand and the $15/hour stil-not-a-living-wage increase would have been done with. They are intentionally failing to help us poors.
TheEpicDept That's not sarcasm. They want poor people to die.
i thought the onion was a vegetable
Hey they had to find a way to remain capitalist pigs.
Phew! I'm glad they caught that. Hate to see the poor buy the good toilet paper on account of the fact that I like it too.
Our daily events have caught up and surpassed satire. Onion is going to become a reputable news service now.
MercurialMiss BidenInsultBot
It's not an obscure rule.
Y’all are fantastic but they can take another vote. Frankly that legislation is so significant it deserves to be its own separate bill.
That’s a violation of title 2 of the United States Code of laws & the 8th amendment of the bill of rights
Almost positive “poor citizens must suffer” is a constitutional amendment actually
RancidPotato From now on, The Onion is the newspaper of record.
9 out 10 Parliamentarians want to do this to the minimum wage: Tear the Roof off the Motha Sucker.
how do you feel about shrek comparing himself to you?
Oop, I thought y’all was supposed to be satire? Y’all dropping the ball.
This would be funny if it was completely untrue.
Poor people is too political correct Everybody knows they're not people. Eww, Yucky, etc.
I thought the onion was satire😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣😂😂😂😂🤣😭😂😂🤣😭😂😂😭😭😭😂😂🤣😂😂😭
Obscure?
i tHoUgHt tHe oNiOn wAs SaTiRe
This is not satire
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