WASHINGTON—Acting in his unofficial role as “consoler-in-chief,” President Joe Biden took some time Friday to comfort the families of those lost in yesterday’s airstrike with an eloquent speech on the challenges of living with heartbreaking loss.
“The world can seem like a cruel place sometimes when a senseless, tragic act like this happens to a family member, but I want you to know, and I hope you can take some solace in this, you will make it through this. The pain and the sorrow never leave, but, in time, you can learn to live with the anguish, and you can learn to embrace those loved ones you have left all the more.
lol this is making neocons big mad
Delete your jobs.
See these missile strikes in Syria? Trump won the 2020 election under the guise of Joe Biden. Get owned, liberals
DoctorFishbones The Onion, best newspaper in the English-speaking world.
Meanwhile, the Babylon Bee is workshopping a “missiles identify as lollipops” headline. As a liberal, I find this is harsh, but fair. And most importantly, funny.
OttenbergEve Not really parody though.
Ouch!
Ha!!!
You can tell this is satire because Biden has not given an eloquent speech in some years now.
I was boutta go off on biden but then i saw who posted this lmao
OIXOIband My favorite part of his speech was when he said 'not killing people through an airstrike would be an insult to my dead son Beau'
I can’t wait to see what the libs defending illegal airstrikes that mostly kill civilians are gonna say about this one xD
giving Joe a lot of credit imagining him delivering words eloquently, jack
He is an ass, using his son to relate?
Buydin drops bombs in his depends daily
ggreenwald Damn, 4 years of Trump and some people here seem to forget what is.
ggreenwald The difference between Trump and Biden is that Biden bombed people in Syria with a LGBTQ rainbow 🌈 and a Black Lives Matter fist ✊🏿. Big difference...🤣
I’m sorry for killing y’all’s family. My bad but it had to be done
calkel1961 Garbage take, and disingenuous. You ok with Iran killing our people? Putting out contracts on US citizens?
Hey Joe where ya goin with that gun in your hand?
Popehat Took me a second to realize this was The Onion. The best sarcasm is built on truth.
ggreenwald Syrian militants backed by Iran have yet to apologize to the families of Americans kill by their attacks
does haim saban know you guys are publishing this?
Not sure he's mourning Iranian militants and Hezbollah but ymmv
OzbatRisa JoeBiden POTUS
ggreenwald Who needs a spoof when there's the real thing --
you iraqs...or Syrian or Irans and your Arab friends must feel the pain I did when Bo or Hunter I forget sometime um as we used to say died - Joe Biden (The savior of America)
ggreenwald Oh boom!
quartknee103 wow i was not aware that any speech on murder can somehow be eloquent? that has got to be some white shit i just don't understand.
AliAbunimah One thing we brown and Black folks got that you just can’t take away! Expendability! Me next!
ggreenwald The bombers were drunk.
Not funny at all. Really sad actually.
ggreenwald 'Mr President shall we send the $2000 to every American?'. 'No, send 2000 bombs for every man woman and child in Syria!'.
LOL. Simping ain't easy!
😭
ggreenwald Satire might be the most important thing you'll read in the mainstream over the next 4 years. Embrace it. Love it. Give democracy a little hug.
AliAbunimah it's JoeBiden's version of borisjohnson's 'take it on the chin' speech. sounds so much more compassionate, but end result is the same. more innocents are now dead, maimed and displaced. Syria USWarCrimes IsraeliCrime's. end NATO now.
Another war criminal president, in a long line of them. A Brief History of U.S. Interventions: 1945 to the Present by William Blum.
ggreenwald Biden just returned from the White House gift shop...
ggreenwald
Swing and a miss
No hearts broken.... The population hates Iranian mercenaries and similar friends Assad who destroyed the country and destabilized the world
redsteeze Shitlibs are really not pleased with this one.
PhillipAdams_1 We can sympathise with the family and friends of the young man fighting ISIS. 'Blue on blue', 'friendly fire' and 'collateral damage' were widely used terms during the Vietnam war. More of the same.
naomirwolf Gropey Joe extends a hand 🤮
MB_Rockwell Perfection!
Old fool cant remember last week, hows he meant to remember people?
The stupidity in this joke is unfathomable. Like it's unclear if you even know where Syria is on a map.
theseat Good to have Onion back on the side of justice again.
JordanUhl bobfoxer
JordanUhl I heard he was giving the victims a check for 1400 dollars
Nobody mourns like Joe does.
JordanUhl Eloquent? Who are we kidding
EwokHunter1 He further promised to look into this Y2K thing before it is too late.
those were iranian backed militants in syria who were murdering civilian contractors with rocket strikes into iraq, but sure, woe is them
It's nice to see the Onion providing the real story. I'm sick of the way CNN and the rest of the fake news distort everything.
And he should know. He’s got a kid who snorts coke off of lady’s butts.
redsteeze Now you’re starting to get it, been paying attention to the TheBabylonBee and ItsNotTheBee huh? Good job! Yay satire!!! (You still suck)
Ok The Onion is now the only reliable publisher
scotthortonshow Oof.
Brilliant af
redsteeze
Tasteless.
Sarcasm.
PhillipAdams_1 Lucky we have so many Middle East experts on Twitter!
Goddam
naomirwolf First mumie, who is leading a country. Out of his grave. 'This is America'
the empathy gets you everytime
tarangoNYT ANYONE and I mean ANYONE, who thinks the USA should make a nuclear deal with the world's largest sponsor of TERRORISM, should be tarred and feathered!!!
too real
amuse Four years of piece with Trump, two months only and war and deaths go back, blood in the hand of this insane man. Ridiculous midia politicization position.
Thank God the speech was an eloquent one otherwise it wouldn’t be very comforting
sweatyhairy ahhhh an Eloquent Speech to compensate😍
'America is back!'
KnightGambit Trump ordered the strike in Yemen so now it’s Biden ordering the strike in Syria
Always a kind word.
laurenrosaaa That's not parody though lol
michaelianblack 😅
👀👀
Ouch lol
When did the Onion believe parroting Iranian talking points was good humor?
This is vile on every level, rotten to the core & completely misleading. US bombed Iranian military bases in Syria What are Iranian militias doing in Syria? Killing, starving & displacing Syrians What does Onion have to say abt bombing of civilians in Syria by Russia & Assad?
He bombed a weapons warehouse you clueless morons.
PROOF that sleepy joe is going to ruin our country! Doesnt even know who hes killing
Hopefully he can now not have to comfort families of American forces that could get killed by missiles.
'Why don't someone think of the poor shia foreign Jihadists?'
The Onion is full-on QAnon at this point. Good riddance.
theonion Comforts Murderous Dictators With Stupid Jokes
Jesus
Zowie...this one cuts to the bone.
michaelianblack Wont someone think of the poor families of the Iranian backed death squads? 😢
'WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE SECTARIAN MILITIAS?!😡😡😡😭😭😭'
You mean the Kataib Hezbollah militants who have been murdering Syrian civilians for years? K.
Idiocy
You mean the Hashd foreign fighters who are in Syria to help Assad torment Syrians? I can assure you, no hearts were broken in seeing their reign of terror cut short.
Reminds me of the M*A*S*H episode called 'Say No More'. Hawkeye can't save the life of a General's son and, after briefly grieving his loss, the General goes back to ordering troops into battle to die as his son did.
Throw hands harder
Cuervo3 Terrible! The man wasn't blessed to see that such power also brings PEACE. He decides! This is why there really is a strange blessing in the Climatic Devastation that is ahead. The earth strikes back - no matter who is dropping bombs & Life is the Value!
This surreality is literally what I was experiencing on Apple News app this morning.
The emperor may change but the Empire stays the same. Pretty sure any president who would actively oppose militarism would be quickly assassinated.
Fucking brutal. 👍🏼
'... and you can learn to embrace those loved ones you have left all the more (until they are blown up as well).'
Harris is celebratin it though
Humor is the only thing keeping nearly all of us from having a breakdown
This says it all.
Good old weepy Joe. Always ready to use his losses. I am over it. This is the onion but I bet he says something bonkers to this effect.
I forgot how to laugh.
Just another face in office who wants to kill brown people
.JoeBiden
The best way to comfort the families is to maintain a policy of peace through 'strength' of leadership. This was a 'test' to see how the new administration would handle a disruption of the peace established in the Middle East.
This is just the actual news now. We live in hell
ForAmerica This Americans is how the left conditions it’s followers.
LOL
Holy shit!
Kip_JD 😒
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