“I have one of those beds where you put a red wine glass on it and even if you jump on it, it won’t spill.”“I have one of those beds where you put a red wine glass on it and even if you jump on it, it won’t spill.”AdvertisementList slidesTechnically, he’ll still be over 18 years old. Don’t believe a thing he says.While it might be tempting to sleep with celebrities, definitely check that he’s five guys and not one guy pretending to be an an iconic art-rock band.
If some dude tries this line on you, shut him up by demanding to see the magical sword he used, as well as proof that he used the same blade to slay Medusa.“Sex with me is low-fat and full of antioxidants.” Men will often use buzzwords like this in their advertising to fool you into thinking sex with them is beneficial to your health.“It’s our divine evolutionary responsibility to ensure the prosperity of our species.”You might’ve picked the wrong cult to join.“Of course I support the Council of Nicaea!”“I saw 9/11 happen from my house.”Advertisement“You can bring your own blanket if you’d like.”
Sure, and the minute you pull out your blanket, he’s all like, “Let’s use my blanket instead.” Typical.“I am former President Barack Obama.”“I’m a real boy.”Sorry, this suitor is actually a wooden puppet brought to life by magic.“My parents won’t be home till later.”
Facebook considers this article to be hate speech.
this one always works
I’m in a trial for a vaccine that gives immunity to anyone I have sex with
Yes, but he'll have a 6 year old's dick. BenButtonScience
The old Father Guido Sarducci joke.
__justplaying
I always use the marriage option for illegals
Not your best work. 2/10
In the age of Tinder are lies necessary? Asking for a friend.
'I haven't had chlamydia'
Reference:
Just been banned from Facebook for 24hrs for posting this. Help! Facists!
I promise not to tell anyone or upload the photos or show the video online.
I had all my shots
Sounds like work
why would you be attracted to this
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