The Caroline Calloway story hit a nerve because so many of us have had toxic friendships

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There is something about forming female friendships in your teens and early 20s that can be intoxicating.

Things started going downhill when Calloway began racking up Instagram followers; her following now hovers around 800,000. Beach wrote about how, on a trip together in Sicily, she would take photos of Calloway and help her write captions for the platform, all the while feeling secondary to Calloway's relationship with Instagram.

When I asked one of the students if social media was making friendship harder, she said yes – because it is so easy to see where people are and who they are with, and that much more obvious when your crew is hanging out without you. But Beach and Calloway's story highlights the toxic relationship many people have with social media, especially those who rely on it for their income.

Beach goes on to become indebted to Calloway and, in a sense, becomes her maid to work off that debt. She could have parted ways once the tab was settled, but they continued to work together, co-writing a book proposal and later crashing on a draft of that book together. "She was constantly calling me her best friend and work wife, telling me she loved me," Beach wrote. "I thought we were in this together.

Eventually that trust broke down as Calloway left Beach hanging on a night of "adventuring" in Amsterdam, and Beach realised Calloway was dealing with bigger problems than Beach could help solve.Beach and Calloway were in far deeper than the students I spoke with.

They seemed to grasp that, on balance, a friendship should leave you with more positive feelings than negative ones. And that arrangements where one person is the permanent supporting actor rarely feel good for long; both people in a friendship should get to take turns playing the starring role.

 

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Oh Yes. Oh Yes. And only females can do this because they are so special, so intuitive, so caring, so ethical, so sincere.

Who?

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