'The ball's gone over. Where am I?': Jonny Wilkinson on mental health and that drop goal

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England's World Cup-winning superstar has described his battles during his playing days as 'like building a wall to keep dragons out'.

Having got to know him over the last couple of years, I am aware that being Jonny Wilkinson is not always easy.

"At the time everything had to be practically experienced for me and I needed it in black and white," he explains. "Buddhism was a floating cloud and I couldn't reach it. I wanted to know how I got from down here to up there. What I needed was something concrete. And quantum physics is about trying to create that bridge of actual experience by going deeper into what makes the world around us.

Part of this are the difficulties he had to battle with during his playing days. Wilkinson does not try to hide the anguish he went through - the anxiety that at times came close to overwhelming him; the time spent locked in a dressing-room toilet, hoping he would not have to take the field and play the role of World Cup-winning fly-half.

In the last few years of my career I probably saw the team psychologist more than any of my team-mates. The type of anxiety he describes ahead of matches is one I found afflicting me before every training session, let alone games.

 

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