Men carry the burden of society’s expectation of masculinity - The Mail & Guardian

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Men carry the burden of society’s expectation of masculinity - We all need to unlearn the damaging patriarchal presuppositions of gender

in society. Studies are conducted to understand the roots and triggers of men’s social conduct — or misconduct. Without doubt, men are often guilty of causing social ills but we often do not acknowledge and recognise the pressures on men. In most instances, the focus is on their conduct. Less attention is given to interrogating and reflecting on how masculine notions are formed and subsequently practised, and the influence of social settings on these processes.

These attributes highlight the ideas of masculinity embedded in traditional ideology, rules and norms. Apart from the societal expectations, we need to pay attention to the socialisation process in the family. A family is a training ground where members are taught about desirable and undesirable behaviour and expectations of others. Men and women are socialised to internalise and accept toxic gender roles, one being the use of violence. Violent behaviour is often associated with normal “boyish” behaviour, therefore, it is expected of a boy child to resort to violence.

This recognition does not suggest the struggle and oppression of women should be disregarded. With the 2021 slogan being “Better relations between men and women”, I am reminded of the third wave of feminist scholars who pointed out that society is experiencing a crisis embedded in patriarchal masculinity rather than masculinity itself. There is a need to sensitise men and women to the dangers of patriarchy, particularly for men.

 

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