Fighting the ‘whiteness’ of hope

Relaying stories of her upbringing, Mel is full of funny little anecdotes. Flitting between uproarious laughter and mischievous giggles, she recounts how, for example, as a teenager, she would steal her aunt’s hormone pills in the hope of making her body more feminine, reflecting her real gender. Or how she rebelled against her conservative Protestant church and, dressed the way she wanted, would “step into that church every Sunday, on some‘hey, this is me; this is Mel’.

For many queer people,the discrimination they face is often a result of conservative religious belief systems. For Mel it was no different. “I come from a Protestant background and those religious views are… very macho in a way. I was always questioning. Always asking, ‘But why can I not be me? Why is it a sin?’ Why would religion say something like this if this is just me; if this is who I am?”

“I was filled with disbelief. I didn’t believe in anything. You know when you question and deconstruct everything you believed in? I did that so much that I became empty. That was when I discovered Umbanda and Candomblé and started a process of discovering myself and healing those old hurts. The hurts that came from my Protestant background.

It is this humanity that Mel, the former lead singer of Brazilian funk outfit Banda Uó, is now sharing with her followers “to tell my story”. Swapping the thumping funk beats she had become known for, for the pared-down and minimalist new offerings, the now-solo artist’s sound couldn’t be more different — or refreshing.

Is this change that she desires for other black trans women? “No, not only for trans women, but for all black women. All black people,” she says. “This is what I wish for the black community.”

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