While flames burn around you on all sides: Our bodies are more alert when it’s cold, so don’t even try.
During the apocalypse: Actually, if your phone’s already stopped working, you don’t really need to meditate. “Turns out it was your phone, not the raging fires of Hell around you, that took you out of the moment.” In your brother’s bunker that you mercilessly mocked him for investing in: If you’re in a bunker, you’re already enough of a dweeb. Don’t make it worse by meditating.
On the pot you now pee into: Studies show that meditating on the toilet often leads us to forget to flush. You can’t flush a pot, but it seems like a relevant fact anyway. After you discover that you’re the last person on Earth: There’s actually no point in meditating now, because you don’t have anyone to brag about it to.
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