Woman Unsure If She Turned Off Stove Finally Makes Peace With Possibly Killing Everyone In Building
CHICAGO—Unable to remember one way or the other, local 32-year-old Sidney Golinski , who was unsure if she had turned off the burner she used to cook eggs for breakfast Wednesday, told reporters she had finally made peace with the fact that she might have killed everyone in her apartment building. “Well, there’s…
CHICAGO—Unable to remember one way or the other, local 32-year-old Sidney Golinski, who was unsure if she had turned off the burner she used to cook eggs for breakfast Wednesday, told reporters she had finaRead more: The Onion »
'Precious individuals' taken in Texas school shooting
UVALDE, Texas (AP) — One student was an avid runner, so fast she swept the races at field day. Another was learning football plays from his grandfather. One girl sensed something was wrong and wanted to skip school. Read more >>
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You described my wife
A Florida woman survived after a bear attacked her while she was walking her dogA Florida woman was injured when she was attacked by a black bear while walking her dog, state wildlife officials said Don't fuck with Smokey the Bear 🐻 there are black bears in Florida?
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Area Dad Sure Knows A Lot About Local Weather WomanROCKFORD, IL—Casually rattling off details about her personal life and professional history, household sources confirmed Tuesday that area dad Shawn Garcia seems to know quite a bit about local television meteorologist Susanne Lepucki. “He keeps going on about how she wore that same red blouse last week, and I swear… Leave our weather girls alone! Forecast: Light overcast, 34 degrees with a bit of Stalker. He can’t remember most things about his own wife but he’s an encyclopedia on who is and will be doing the weather report, as long as they’re a lady
Woman killed in NYC subway shove was from the Bay AreaA woman born and raised in the San Francisco Bay Area was pushed to her death in front of a NYC subway train. Also, while SFPD dismissed his death, overdose by GHB, by saying use of GHB is “Common in the Gay Community”! GHB = Date Rape Drug! In the Gay capital of the world! JusticeForJaxonSales JusticeForLGBTQLives StopAAPIHate
Canadian Woman Snaps Selfie On Sinking CarDoin' it for the 'gram never looked cooler, or stupider ... is what comes to mind at the sight of a woman taking photos atop her car as it sinks into a mostly frozen Canadian river. I wouldn't have helped her. Stop helping these ppl. Omg!! Really really
Woman reveals Ross' infamous spray tan accident in 'Friends' happened to her'The color started showing around just two hours after I had got the 12 spray down, but alas, that was just the beginning,' she admitted. Weakest male archetype of all time, and you wonder why America's in a ditch... Hey, heard he's coming out with one of those cartoons for adults: Friendly Dad... Geeze!! 四川省攀枝花市72岁老太去攀煤公司大宝顶矿信访惨被殴打虐待（2016年5月10日），警方居然判定“摔伤”且处罚两替死鬼各100元；家属依法维权却被非法拘禁、人身伤害、软禁、全家威胁、打压迫害，至今未得解决，公正律法尚存？ 恳请您关注、帮助、转发，诚请媒体做事实报道，寻公平正义~
Gunman Sought in Fatal Shooting of Woman Inside Car in GardenaPolice were searching Tuesday for a man who opened fire on a car, killing a young woman inside.
Alerts CHICAGO—Unable to remember one way or the other, local 32-year-old Sidney Golinski, who was unsure if she had turned off the burner she used to cook eggs for breakfast Wednesday, told reporters she had fina lly made peace with the fact that she might have killed everyone in her apartment building. “Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now, so I’m ready to mourn them and express my condolences to their loved ones if I did accidentally leave my stove on and it burned down the entire complex with my neighbors trapped inside,” said Golinski, who added that she had spent an appropriate amount of time worrying over whether she had turned off the gas range and was now just going to accept that a kitchen towel may well have been set alight by the unattended flame and caused a fire to spread through the 64-unit building, killing all in its path. “There’s no point obsessing over it. If they’re dead, they’re dead. All I can do now is hope that all the men, women, and children who were home at the time rest in peace. If I get back tonight and there’s a charred pile of rubble laden with human remains that are burnt beyond recognition, well, at least I’ll know once and for all that I forgot to turn the stove off.” At press time, Golinski had reportedly moved on from mourning her dead neighbors to researching a good lawyer she could hire if she were to be found culpable for their deaths.