Why I Will Never Ever Ever Ever Take My Family Camping

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I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend hours trying to put up a tent that smells like mildew and sadness.

Call me high maintenance and unappreciative of nature if you will. I’m okay with it. But you should also know that my opinion is rooted in experience; I’ve tried to walk on the wild side and camp.

Then there was the time I stayed with my kids at a campground for the weekend ten years ago and my neck and shoulders still aren’t right. I tripped outside the tent at 2am on a damn root trying to take a pee. I heard wild beasts that I was sure wanted to eat me, and I swear I felt a mouse run up my leg just as I was drifting off to sleep.

I fell over at least three times trying to get dressed, and my kids just don’t know how to keep a tent closed so things like bears and flies don’t invite themselves in.

 

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I can sleep anywhere. But totally need fully operating toilet. No camping.

My family won’t take me camping with them. They just know it will work out better if they leave me behind.

Lol! Too funny!!

Going camping next week. Very relaxing.

I dream of taking my kids camping, it helped me bond with my macho dad before he was a jerk.

Terrible advise. Children thrive in the outdoors. Additionally, spending time outdoors have better health and social functioning. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Bugs. No.

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