Having a side project you care about isn’t necessarily a bad thing, of course. But problems arise when it’sof you. “It becomes tacitly coercive,” Cohen says. “And it becomes anxiety inducing. Its secret function seems to be to make people feel excluded or inadequate if they don't have a side hustle.”
"This isn’t just affecting our work lives, it spills over into the intimate sphere too. Who can really say they haven’t viewed a personal issue as a problem to ‘solve’, as a discrete unit that can, by whatever means necessary, be ‘dealt with’?" Cohen also notes the “transactional and much more externalised” way we talk about our intimate lives: “there’s a practical, contractual sensibility creeping into the way we conduct relationships,” he says. This, fairly obviously, is not how relationships work. Intimacy is given and taken, of course, but its exchange is natural, private, often messy. This ineffable quality should be embraced and protected; instead, we try to cut it up and turn it into digestible, quantifiable pieces.
So how do we combat this, both in our work lives and our private lives? Cohen suggests that we stop and ask ourselves why we’re doing what we’re doing at any given moment. Does it have a purpose? If not, popular wisdom often asks us to consider why we’re doing it at all. But if we follow Cohen’s lead, we should actually do the opposite.
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