We Beat ‘ Deathloop ’ On The First Try; Sorry It Was Just Too Easy For Gamers Like Us
Hot off the success of the Dishonored series, Arkane Studios is showing us what they can do with their first truly next-gen experience. Unfortunately, while Deathloop might be a graphical tour-de-force for the PlayStation 5, it ultimately failed to satisfy after we beat the game on our first try, since it was way…
Dishonoredseries, Arkane Studios is showing us what they can do with their first truly next-gen experience. Unfortunately, whileDeathloopmight be a graphical tour-de-force for the PlayStation 5, it ultimately failed to satisfy after we beat the game on our first try, since it was way too easy for gamers like us.
AdvertisementIt might be a good release to play if you’re, say, a baby who’s never played a video game before. But for veteran video game fanatics like ourselves? It was a total cakewalk. Too bad.Set on the island of Blackreef,Deathloopputs you in the boots of Colt Vahn, an assassin determined to break out of his daylong time loop by taking out 12
targets known as Visionaries. Fail to do this or die, and you must start the day over. It’s a novel mechanic, albeit one we never experienced since we’re really, really good at video games and couldn’t even die if we tried.We played on the hardest difficulty, too. It still didn’t hold a candle to our prodigious gaming abilities. That’s fine. We didn’t expect that it would. headtopics.com
The single-player campaign lasts roughly 10hours for a typical gamer, and about 15minutes for veritable gaming ninjas like ourselves. That’s what you get from years of honing hair-trigger reflexes and lightning-fast response times, though. We don’t really blame Arkane. How could they know their title would be reviewed by godlike masters of the video game medium such as ourselves?Read more: The Onion »
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Literally impossible The Onion even avoided the tutorial based death at the beginning 🤣 Uhh, HardDriveMag theyre stealing your thunder. How dare they touch video games well yeah, its a very lazy execution jonjones It's just called Loop when The Onion plays it. My 9 year son old beat Cuphead, when his sister was 9 years old. He also beat MegaMan 2 when she was 5, but that was 4 years earlier. truefacts
Clearly the onion is the opposite of IGN: funny and good enough at games to actually review them Hahahahahaha A mf like me could beat the game without looping but how many women did you harass online along the way wildwing89 👀
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Deathloop is the Dark Souls of Rougelikes
Carl Nassib makes NFL history as Las Vegas Raiders beat Baltimore Ravens in thrillerLas Vegas Raiders defensive end Carl Nassib savored a 'special night' Monday as he became the first openly gay NFL player to star in a regular-season game First ever fumble recovery by a gay player as well who gives a fuck? hmm
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FBI agent in Michigan Gov. Whitmer kidnapping bust fired amid allegations he beat wife after swingers' partyThe lead FBI agent credited with thwarting a plot to kidnap Michigan's Democratic Gov. Gretchen Whitmer no longer works for the bureau. 🤣 Fox propaganda so desperate to make a murder plot against elected officials not look so bad. Sounds like something a foxnews executive would do.
News Analysis: Newsom beat the recall. Will it change how he governs?The campaign is over. And what Gov. Gavin Newsom takes from what happened — what he does or doesn’t learn from it — will affect millions of Californians. L.A. Times subscribers get early access to this article by johnmyers Support our journalism: The official journal of white supremacy. The official rag of fake diversity, “wokeness”, and racial stereotypes. Just when I thought it was time to give the new LA Times a chance.