Washboard Player In Jug Band Tired Of Spoons Guy Getting All The Chicks

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MEMPHIS, TN—Revealing elevated tensions in the group, washboard player Jimmy Phelps confirmed Tuesday that he was tired of his jug band’s spoons guy getting all the chicks. “I do a lot of leg work setting the tone for the whole show, yet the ladies are all over that jackass,” said Phelps, watching with envy as female fans rushed to get photos and autographs from the self-confident spoons player. “What an arrogant prick walking up on stage in his flashy overalls and straw hat and showboating like that. I mean, obviously, the jug guy is going to get some attention because he’s the leader, but the spoons guy? Really? They’re a dime a dozen. It’s actually really hard to find a quality washboard player these days. Besides, I joined Colonel Pillbox’s Jug Band & Company way before he did, so it’s only fair I get some acknowledgment.” At press time, Phelps decided to drown his loneliness and heartache in bathtub gin.

 

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Parasite Circus?

So we wait 2000 years for the return of Christ and he’s like, “screw it. I’m just going to join a band instead.”

The idiot should have learned you should always spoon a girl after a parade

well yeah cuz those spoons are full of cocaine

cptbeef gonna have to learn to play the spoons instead of the banjo

Shame. He does have those washboard abs going for him, though.

No one has the heart to tell him whispering . . . 'Does Your Chewing Gum Lose Its Flavour On the Bedpost Overnight' . . . into their ear is a bad move.

Pretty sure that's Howard Hessman.

Can’t fool me, that’s Howard Hesseman

This is blatant toaster player erasure and I won’t stand for it

To be fair, big spoons means big... the ladies know what I'm talking about.

Jug..Spoon..Plates missing..Chickens..Sorry Chicks..What A Confusion..TheOnion NewYorker wsj cnni bbcworld ndtv

Well the onion must have been in VisitMemphis to see local staple starandmicey

Maybe if got a puppy & brought with him on stage.

The spoons guy can't even play on key

Spoon guy is good at spooning.

He'll never be anyone's 'Salty Dog'

rigsofdad

Sounds rough.

creaturec0mfort

warp9cadillac

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