The Topical

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Health Experts Determine College Social Distancing Guidelines Still No Match For The Jasonator

 

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me, most minutes of university

Nah that's Chadtronic

Bulls_Jay

duckskiierchick

He’s gonna have so much sex that’s gonna last under the amount of time it would take to microwave a hot pocket.

Still in college in his 30's?

Rape charges pending in three, two, one...

Squee would like to say a word...

Why is budweiserusa perfectly PSD'd in there?

Massengill’s new spokesman.

cc: SentionMusic

I thought this was hankgreen

Benhartman As a fellow Jason, I can assert that no one born in the late 90s or 2000s is named Jason. It's exclusively babies from the 80s. The Jasonator is MUCH to old to be in college

Dudes nothing compared to The Shermanator.

An American hero in a time when we need him the most

damn it kyotophoebe 😐

its a secret green brother

the man, the myth, the legend

Haha EnglishJason

Today on The Topical:

Label to camera

This u jchanpion69

KatStaffordd

Jason Voorhees is coming to get you...

😂

JasonMCousins care to weigh-in here?

brentblum That you?

Why does Jason look like Hank Green

Men want to be him and women want to be with him.

He needs his own guidelines

I keep saying this because it keeps being true, this isn't even satire anymore.

He will not stop, EVER, until you ARE DEAD

I look forward to the Onion article where The Jasonator hooks up with Hurricane Ashley.

the jasonator just built diff

is that one of the Green brothers?

iJase this dude looks just like you and his name is Jason

That you andrewvolpe?

TheFakeTWhite

Classic jason

GarrettTonos wbthorley11 truth

This picture has to be from 2003.

Epic rager.

Is that Hank Green?

Dammit, Jason!

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The TopicalThe Topical is the daily podcast from The Onion and Onion Public Radio, and the only podcast brave enough to ask: What if the news had sound effects? Join host Leslie Price each day as he barely scratches the surface of all the day’s top news stories. Journalism isn’t dead. It's using its dying damn it i dont want my cervical cancer detected Attn. Senator Graham! Campaigning for yourself on the Senate floor under the guise of campaigning for Amy Coney Barrett's confirmation on the Senate floor...You should be fired NOW!!!! (& take that loser friend, Pres. FOREVER-IMPEACHED, with you!!!) Well, if they don't detect it, you won't have it. TrumpLogic
Source: TheOnion - 🏆 724. / 51 Read more »