Bob Dylan Not Exactly Rising To Occasion As Far As Current Protest Music Goes

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NEW YORK—In a nation mired in a deadly pandemic, mass civilian street actions, widespread environmental degradation, and collapsing institutions under the fourth year of Donald Trump’s presidency, it had become clear to sources Friday that Bob Dylan was not exactly rising to the occasion as far as his current protest music goes. “Seriously, we’re in this terrible moment full of awful crises and wanton violence, which really should be easy fodder for even a half-decent protest singer, and here Bob Dylan can’t even get his shit together for a three-minute tune,” sources said, adding that apparently the so-called Voice of a Generation couldn’t cobble together at least one extended metaphor that fiercely and poetically captured the current situation for a 2020 audience. “We gave you a Nobel Prize for Literature, and for what? So you can release some esoteric 17-minute song about the Kennedy assassination in goddamn March and call it a day? We’re still droning people in half a dozen countries, for Christ’s sake. Look, you have a lot of options here—some sparsely instrumented yet grand statement that perfectly summarizes the current maelstrom of blame and chaos like ‘Blowin’ In The Wind’ or ‘The Times They Are A-Changin’’ would be ideal, obviously, but if you would rather hone in on some specific episode of social injustice that serves as a microcosm of a commentary on systemic issues, like ‘Hurricane’ or ‘The Lonesome Death Of Hattie Carroll,’ that works too. Your lyrics don’t even rhyme. All you have to do is sit down with a guitar and just poignantly and pointedly attack the actions of the Trump administration, or really any other aspect of our present moment. It’s not like we’re lacking for subject matter. Jesus, Bob, get your shit together.” Sources added that they would give Dylan the rest of the month to release something as galvanizing and timelessly true as “Masters Of War.”\n

NEW YORK—In a nation mired in a deadly pandemic, mass civilian street actions, widespread environmental degradation, and collapsing institutions under the fourth year of Donald Trump’s presidency, it had become clear to sources Friday that Bob Dylan was not exactly rising to the occasion as far as his current protest music goes.

“We gave you a Nobel Prize for Literature, and for what? So you can release some esoteric 17-minute song about the Kennedy assassination in goddamn March and call it a day? We’re still droning people in half a dozen countries, for Christ’s sake.

 

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Coal miners aren’t really making a lot of news lately.

“Here comes the story of the.... eh, screw it. I’m old”

🎂

Getting tickets for that 'Ok Fine the Government Was Right' stadium tour.

Does he have to carry us through every decade?

He’s done his part….let him rest!!!

It's his 'just vibing' era let my dude rock

Bob's in his Vincent Price phase now.

do better.

He already did this year

AlbortEinstone You're deluded to start with...

U mean Bob Zimmerman Dylan … Not Exactly Rising To Occasion.

ColeReiss2

An unsigned article whinging that someone hasn't written a song that the anonymous journo wants written? Is this the typical sort of crap the Onion publishes?

this is Murder Most Foul erasure

redsteeze He’s not a push button, easily manipulated celebrity opportunist who engages in political theater, welcoming the attention it attracts in hopes of staying relevant. Never has been.

redsteeze Howard Stern looks terrible

redsteeze Unfortunately cardi B is the voice of this generation 🤮

anthonyjeselnik And what about that young upstart Kurt Cobain, he's been very quiet lately

anthonyjeselnik Why should he, he’s like 100 years old.

He’s too busy recording his cover version of WAP

redsteeze Is that Howard stern?

He's getting out of the way because he can't lend a hand.

I never liked his nasally voice anyhow but he is a walked to peace frog 🐸

He just be bob chillin

TheStalwart

levers42 😂

Not just him. What a missed opportunity Trump has been for music.

Thought Howard Stern prior to reading headline.

venetianblonde :)

Is Lovato not enough?

Bob Dylan is a lib now 😔

So much love for Bob Dylan

Condescending music, anyone?

'Don't worry, Mr. President, help's on the way Your brothers are coming, there'll be hell to pay'

Rub a dub dub.

Perfect

It's not dark yet, but it's getting there

Lazy Hippy!

Ryaner2k9er 🤣

Bob Dylan is a POS

Tom Waits may be more appropriate at this point. Just pack it in, sink to the bottom of a barrel of whiskey, and consider jumping trains until a pack of stray dogs drag you off in the night.

Time for the young’ uns to step up🤣

On the other hand, he should have given enough inspiration to others to make great protest music. Should have, anyway 🤷‍♂️

QueenCityJamz You write this? 🤣

Bob did his best work oh, 60-65 years ago!

Slacker. Needs to pull his finger out..

'I've never written a political song. Songs can't save the world. I've gone through all that.'

Why has that old man got a dead cat on his head ?

Shhhhhh... Don’t encourage him. 2020’s been hard enough. No one needs to hear that voice again.

JillRileyRadio 🤪

This pic looks like the result of Abbie Hoffman and Howard Stern conceiving a child.

Hard to improve on 'The Times They Are A Changin' 😂

Come on BOB

Life's hard enough right now, surely?

That does even more Gaddafi.

It’s like he’s not even trying to be the voice of a generation anymore!

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