The Surprising Way My Immigrant Parents Had My Family Spend Thanksgiving Changed My Life

day of the year the exhaust fans were silenced and the lights turned off. Theday of the year all six of us spent in leisure as a family, present for one another and having conversations instead of just barking orders while trying to feed a faceless stream of hangry strangers. And it became the only day of the year my father was able to share his dreams for us, a“My siblings and I were what we call 'take out kids.

We started with NYU. It was close enough to the restaurants we’d go to for dinner ― and therefore close enough to make going “away” to school a bit more palatable for my mother. After a respectful moment of silence at the base of Columbia’s library, he told us, “You can go inside when you get accepted.”

“Benjamin Franklin’s school,” he told us authoritatively. “Top 10 in the United States, and Ivy,” he’d say, pronouncing it I.V. “Less than 10% acceptance, and even harder to get into Whar-tuhn Business School.” But the caliber of schools chosen, the unwavering confidence my parents had that we would go top tier by visiting only top-tier universities, that provided us with the confidence to set them as attainable goals. The hopeful ― not stressful ― expectation of college as a natural next step gave us that Suessian, “Oh, the places you’ll go!” thrill.

“This was how my parents showed us what being born American was, and how to give thanks for that. After all, they didn’t know anything else it could mean.” My little brother, the baby of the family, finished college five years ago. I graduated from Tulane University in January 2007, a full dozen years now past. Since then, my sisters have achieved bachelor’s and master’s degrees at prestigious schools ― Brown University, Williams College, the University of Chicago, UMass Amherst ― even more afield than where these annual drives could take us.

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