The one question that makes me a better parent

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The one question that makes me a better parent — NationalParentsDay

in an environment of forgiveness and mutual understanding, the one story that still regularly comes to my mind is that of a boy who wanted to sleep with a chair on his bed.The book describes a strong-willed child who, for whatever reason, felt that the presence of his desk chair on his bed would help him sleep at night. His father saw this as a ridiculous request and categorically refused. A battle ensued, as so often does in standoffs of the will between parents and children.

I think of this story often because I, too, tend to categorically refuse my children things I think are dumb, or odd, or simply not what I myself would choose.

Maybe it’s merely a little foolish and rubs my adult sensibilities the wrong way, or perhaps I just don’t get it. Can I have the generosity of heart to say yes even so? To allow them to be their funny, silly selves? After all, they’re just kids, andLike the other day, when my six-year-old daughter found some old health insurance cards in my desk. “Can I keep these?” she asked me excitedly.

My son learned much better by experience than by nagging, for example, when he insisted on taking a walk with his pillowcase over his head. He quickly realized you’re no match for the cactus in your path when you’re wearing an indigo blue sheet in front of your eyes. Had I unequivocally nixed the idea, we probably would have spent the whole afternoon arguing about it.

 

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