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‘Taco Bell For Life’ Winner Chooses To Receive Winnings As Single Lump Meal

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TAOS, NM—Arguing that incremental payments would favor the fast-food chain in the long run, ‘Taco Bell For Life” winner Jacob Lalu chose to receive his winnings Friday as a single lump meal. “The experts will tell you to get your Baja Blasts in installments, but I could really use those bad boys right now,” said Lalu, conceding that he would “take a bath on taxes” for his choice to accept 4,000 Chalupas and 2,000 boxes of Nachos BellGrandes. “I figure I might as well get these 6,000 Crunchwraps while I’m still alive. Either way, I’m gonna have a bunch of relatives hitting me up for some Cravings Boxes, so why not have it all once? It’s gonna be a little dicey hauling two tons of cheese in little plastic cups to my car, but we’ll make due. The bigger challenge will be to stop myself from eating it all at once.” At press time, Lalu told reporters he had nothing left after getting high and scarfing down his entire Taco Bell savings in one night.\n

TAOS, NM—Arguing that incremental payments would favor the fast-food chain in the long run, ‘Taco Bell For Life” winner Jacob Lalu chose to receive his winnings Friday as a single lump meal. “The experts will tell you to get your Baja Blasts in installments, but I could really use those bad boys right now,” said Lalu, conceding that he would “take a bath on taxes” for his choice to accept 4,000 Chalupas and 2,000 boxes of Nachos BellGrandeswhile I’m still alive.

tons of cheese in little plastic cups to my car, but we’ll make due. The bigger challenge will be to stop myself from eating it all at once.” At press time, Lalu told reporters he had nothing left after getting high and scarfing down his entire Taco Bell savings in one night.

 

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AllFantasyPod

callum_may

This immediately becomes a Top Ten Onion headline.

Addendum: Man Hospitalized after Eating 47 Tacos Within the Span of a few Hours

He is truly living mas

candyconglose

Go big or go home.

He seems happy

You guys are NuckinFutz!

The installment plan really reduces the winnings bro

Good call

The good news is that after eating all of that he won't have much of a life left. So, it works either way.

Finally something to believe in again!

For some reason this reminds me of the old BenStiller Show skit where Kurt Cobain spent his whole advance check on Chinese food.

That's socialism!!! 😡😡😡

Is calling Taco Bell ' The Mexican Telephone company ' racist or just funny? Serious replies only. 🤣

DrewFranklinKSR

That's less food than I thought it would be, but I guess eating that much Taco Bell probably shortens your lifespan.

tokenizedtweets 0x4278c1d3DD19c119803900C9F4F06418E6607051

But they forgot the sauce packets

He will be missed

Not a smart idea. But then again, he is eating at Taco Bell....

'Diarrhea for Life' 30 minutes later.

He died.

GuyFrizzell would do this

Against the advice of his plumber.

explosivediarrhea

wait

This also includes a one-time premium package from Roto Rooter

Is this about you WaxMuseumPC ?

Taco Bell is fantastic and all you TacoBell haters can go to heck.

Definitely stoned.

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