Opinion, Trends, Culture, Commentary, Vol 42 Issue 34, Eli Kearney

Opinion, Trends

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm The Only One Trying To Gentrify This Neighborhood

'I mean, I don't want the people here to leave. I just want them to stay inside more.'

7/3/2020 2:27:00 AM

'I mean, I don't want the people here to leave. I just want them to stay inside more.'

When I moved into this neighborhood, I fell in love right away. Not with the actual neighborhood, but with its potential: It's affordable, there are nice row houses all around just waiting to be filled up by my friends, there's lot of open space to be exploited, and plenty of parking. Plus, this area has got a great authentic feel and, with a little work, it could be even more authentic. Perfect, right?

Eli KearneyWhen I moved into this neighborhood, I fell in love right away. Not with the actual neighborhood, but with its potential: It's affordable, there are nice row houses all around just waiting to be filled up by my friends, there's lot of open space to be exploited, and plenty of parking. Plus, this area has got a great authentic feel and, with a little work, it could be even

97,000 children tested positive for Covid-19 in 2 weeks as more schools plan to reopen Schiff: ‘The sum total of the president's actions is to encourage the Russians to help him’ Yes, of course Donald Trump wants his face added to Mount Rushmore

moreAdvertisementSo why am I the only one doing anything about it?I am always telling my other struggling artist, freelance graphic designer, and independent T-shirt-maker friends that this is the neighborhood to take it to. It's the next big thing. Sure, it's an hour from my day job and right next to a stinky canal and a power station, but that's the whole charm—it keeps the yuppies out.

AdvertisementIt's frustrating, though. My friends insist they're happy where they are. But if they only saw the idealized neighborhood I see, where that rundown old health clinic is turned into a tattoo parlor, and that Last Supper mural is replaced with one featuring Radiohead or a stylized corporate octopus, they'd come around.

The problem is that the property owners here are clueless. They fill their yards with pavement and statues of the Virgin Mary, when all they have to do is clear that brush and we'd have a great beer garden or bocce court. They're spending all this money to renovate the old church, when it'd be put to better use split it up into condos. My landlord has no idea this apartment—hell, every apartment in this building—is undervalued. He could quadruple his profits by cutting my place in half. So I give him an extra 20 bucks a month hoping he gets the hint, but he just takes it out of the next month's rent.

AdvertisementDo any of these people appreciate what the neighborhood they're living in could be?I'm trying to convince the owners of that taqueria on the corner to change their décor to incorporate some more of that funky Day Of The Dead motif I really like. But they insist on bland white walls. Ugh! I can barely pronounce the name, let alone enjoy its delicious, reasonably priced meals. Plus, you could take all the cool stuff from the five thrift stores and make one really great vintage shop. They'd make a fortune! And, you know, we would all have a fantastic view of downtown if only they'd tear down that dilapidated garage by the waterfront. Or, better yet, they could turn it into a restaurant with a roof deck. Can you say "brunch on the harbor"?

AdvertisementI can't be the only one who'd like to see a community garden and dog run around here, can I?It sure would help attract people like me if there was a record store, too, and not the one with the giant Shakira cutout in the window. I mean a decent one. I went in to see if they had the new Fiery Furnaces, and they had never heard of it. They said they'd see if they could order it for me, but I declined. I mean, what's the point of supporting a local business if it's not cool?

AdvertisementIt feels like I'm the only one trying to do any good around here.When I first moved in, I loved the 50-cent coffees—it was like living in the '80s—but I wish they'd listen to me and start making lattes. I know I'd pay the extra three bucks, and I'm sure everyone else around here would, too.

Zac Efron to Star in ‘Three Men and a Baby’ Remake for Disney Plus Stuart Stevens: ‘I don’t think there’s a place for me in the Republican party as long as it’s the Trump party’ As budgets are gutted, Betsy DeVos funnels money into private schools, educators say

AdvertisementI've tried being proactive. But none of the locals I've talked to about bringing in a co-op health-food grocery store have seemed excited at all. Nor have I gotten any of them to take part in my community open-house idea for hip young people to come see what this neighborhood is capable of. What did they do instead? They had a barbecue. With

veryloud music.I mean, I don't want the people here to leave. I just want them to stay inside more. Especially if they're not going to do anything to bring this community to life. But they're always out on their stoops, just playing dominoes or talking. I like talking, but I do it inside, where it was meant to be done. It makes me uncomfortable to have people watching me all the time. Not that I think they'd do anything, but I just like to be a little more private.

AdvertisementAlso, their dogs stay outside and bark all day. I like dogs just fine, but why can't their dogs be smaller and more nervous?It's getting to the point where I feel like I'm tilting at windmills. But I can't give up—I know this neighborhood would benefit from the diversity of more people like me moving in. If you need a good place to live, come check out my 'hood. It's quirky, but it could use a few more creative types to get it jumping. But no developers—those guys just ruin it for the rest of us.

Read more: The Onion »

McDonald's sues ousted CEO, saying he lied about sexual affairs with employees

McDonald's Corp said on Monday it sued former Chief Executive Steve Easterbrook to recoup tens of millions of dollars in severance and benefits, claiming he covered up and lied about sexual relationships with at least three employees.

Great stuff, changed my life. Eli gotta little Doug Kenney-Stork phase thing going there 😎 Was this copy/pasted from bestofnextdoor? Seriously, you can tell me. Hahaha! Who wrote this one? Give him/her a bonus. That is fact 1 of a 'slum' area. Action 24/7... That looks like a Star Trek shirt worn by the guy who is going to die

“...incorporate some more of that funky Day of the Dead motif I really like.” 😂 A white person using the word “quirky” to describe the “hood” they live in is the perfect summary of this article. Hey now! You can be an antisocial bastard worried about a global pandemic without wanting everybody to move out of their homes. If they’re moving out anyway can I get a price?

Kill the image with confusion & conjectures. 😳 that's someone's grandma 🤣🤣😂 He looks like a character from an early 2000s TV show thank you onion, very cool

Ariana Grande's 'Victorious' Co-Star Matt Bennett Covered '7 Rings'Ariana Grande’s 'Victorious' co-star Matt Bennett polished '7 Rings' with an emo-punk cover 💜💜💜

Carla Morrison Calls 'Disfruto' Remixes, Freestyle Raps 'Disrespectful'Carla Morrison took to social media to call out artists who are using her song &34;Disfruto&34; for freestyle videos without her permission. That's right, let's hope this is resolved soon. Here are the links to the ORIGINAL songs, listen to them from the official platforms: CarlaMorrisonmx Nice! You got billboard's attention. 🙌🏽👏🏽🔥💗

Blackpink's 'How You Like That' Broke Some Major YouTube RecordsBlackpink dropped their fun, confident video for their comeback single &34;How You Like That&34; on Friday (June 26). QUEEEEENS Hello blinks as it should

Regard & RAYE Take 'Secrets' to Hot Dance/Electronic Songs Chart's Top 10Regard and RAYE roll into the top 10 of the Hot Dance/Electronic Songs chart with 'Secrets'

Hayley Williams' 'Sugar On The Rim' Lyric VideoThe clip, which dropped on Tuesday (June 30), finds the singer working hard in the studio, compared to a chill day at home in bed. just loving ... LittleMix LittleMixForVMAS2020

Nick Cordero's Wife Says Double Lung Transplant Is 'Ultimate Goal' for RecoveryAmanda Kloots shared an update on her Broadway actor husband Nick Cordero&39;s health during CBS This Morning on July 2. Painted by me