It's like your reading my mind
Rather come too fast that not at all.
Hi, how do I get to write for this incredible organization?
It’s a sign that your life simply doesn’t want you.
Ooh Good idea. The onion should tweet something about being to early or to late. That would be really funny.
There is a term that me and some friends came up with. We call it.... earlate.
Too soon.
Even Time is a fence rider. Pick a side Time!
Presently that statement is true!
Story of my life
That is me, because I grew tired of changing my clocks twice a year. 😡 So I split the baby on the half hour. I love it!
This is the Onion I know and love!
This warning came to late.
Unless you hack twitter and post anti memes from your bunker in the Ukraine.
Thank God for The Onion.
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
This right here
You could have timed this better.
Unless your name is Goldilocks
Ugh, now it’s 6:05. I can’t clean the kitchen now. 7pm sounds good.
A minute late, as always.
Lmao
no, i disagree
yes I am too early to this tweet I need to get a life
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Official U.S. coronavirus death toll is 'a substantial undercount' of actual tally, new Yale study findsConsidering all the non Covid deaths that were counted as Covid, I’m guessing the numbers are still wrong. More bullish stock news here
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »
Study finds asteroid impact, not volcanoes, made the Earth uninhabitable for dinosaurs: 'Only plausible explanation'A new study found what happened to the Earth's dinosaurs. An asteroid strike blocking out the sun for years and causing permanent winters was cause. ATLAS : Astroid Detection “The Visibility Problem” 🦕 ❤️ Is everyone okay over there? Seems we're just hitting random buttons now.
Source: USATODAY - 🏆 100. / 63 Read more »
Americans who stayed home before they were told to saved lives, study findsIndividual decisions to stay put in homes, except for necessary outings for food and medical supplies, likely helped slow the spread of coronavirus before state or local stay-at-home orders were implemented by government officials, according to a new study Wanna know what’s funny? More Republicans stayed home during that time than anybody. Until the mainstream media botched the crisis and costed our country over 100,000 deaths you’re welcome america
Source: CNN - 🏆 4. / 95 Read more »
Demand for dexamethasone rises after study finds COVID-19 benefits, FDA data showsA steroid that was in shortage before the pandemic has gotten more scarce since researchers reported it can improve the survival rate of COVID-19 patients. Well if people are using it doesn’t that use the supply up? Like what so hard to realize? Hydroxychloriquine and zinc are excellent treatments and in excellent supply Has gotten more scarce Lovely English! Has become more scarce!!! Back to school!!
Source: USATODAY - 🏆 100. / 63 Read more »
Study Finds It Would Be Extremely Satisfying To Have Intercourse With An A-List CelebrityBOULDER, CO—Providing groundbreaking new insight into human sexuality, a study published Thursday by researchers at the University of Colorado found that if a person were to engage in intercourse with an A-list celebrity, the experience would be extremely satisfying. “Over the course of our inquiry, we concluded that having intimate sexual relations with, for example, Rihanna, would result in a marked improvement in one’s general mood and overall sense of well-being,” said Professor Liza Mulbin, explaining that the euphoric effect that comes from sex with a top-tier celebrity one has seen on television or in films can likely be attributed to the fact that such individuals are very attractive, very famous, and very rich. “It would, in all likelihood, be the best feeling ever. Our analysis also shows that, given how often celebrities like Ryan Gosling, Selena Gomez, and the Hemsworth brothers have sex, they are probably incredible at it. In addition, a degree of status is conferred upon anyone who has sex with a major star, as they are forever known within their social group as the one who had sex with Drake or Kristen Stewart.” Mulbin added that even in the worst-case scenario, in which a person contracts an incurable STI from an A-list celebrity, the accompanying sexual gratification would still “totally be worth it.”\n Who are most of these people Or, indeed, a list of celebrities. You already had me at 'intercourse'.
Source: TheOnion - 🏆 724. / 51 Read more »
Warming temperatures threaten hundreds of fish species the world relies on, study findsA new study of hundreds of fish species found that around 60% of those examined could face ocean temperatures that threaten their ability to reproduce in their current ranges by 2100. Love the warm water! 😀 nice reach people reach overfishing is A LOT WORST!
Source: CNN - 🏆 4. / 95 Read more »