PORTLAND, ME—Barely able to contain the slight approval on his face, local groom Brad Donnelly confirmed Friday that the sight of his beautiful bride walking down the aisle filled him with an overwhelming happyish feeling. “As soon as I saw her step out in her dress, I was overcome by this amazing above-neutral kind of sensation,” said Donnelly, admitting he had never felt so somewhat satisfied in his entire life.
“Having all our friends and family here as the radiant love of my life came up to me, it was this amazing kind of sensation resembling joy. I never knew a person could feel so much like he should be generally pleased. I’m sure I’ll remember that moment for the rest of this weekend.” At press time, Donnelly was talking with his family about his sick grandfather who couldn’t make it and feeling confident this was the kind of thing that people feel sad about.
It's all downhill from there.
Brides usually look their worst on wedding day. Hair's usually up, not sexy. Wearing godawful clothing they can’t maneuver in. No wonder guys don’t like weddings.
The errupted pacific vulcano has containing mom’s tough, unconditional love. There was an ash-covered mom that returned on a bike to get her kid out from the area, and another mom found dead hugging her child.
why it's better to be dumb and alive and happy to end rights of 'certain' people than to be dead. Thanks for trying, Dad.
But then it subsides when he realizes her fate is to live in a country full of hate. So, in a move that would have made Jim Jones proud, the father of the bride makes the last toast using the fruit punch. Ironically, this action backfired and was used by the GOP to exemplify
She's hot from the back
If he can get through the rest of this without anyone ending up disowned or going low or no contact with anyone else it'll be a GD miracle.
Man not sure he should be happy or sad that he's putting himself under 24hr surveillance
saddest onion piece
He should be happier she's fucking jacked
Accurate
She big-backeded
“Wow. I feel so… decent. Like waking up to lukewarm fast food you couldn’t eat the night before. Its adequate.”
Like... He's filled with that penguin? Gross.
'This goddamn thing has too much momentum now, so I guess I'll just let it play out and see how long it lasts before she gives me the old heave-ho.' --my actual thoughts in 1987
Give it a few days and then assess it again.
This is quite funny, but a shame it couldn't have been a same sex or trans couple. Representation matters.
'I'm hungover, and really, I just want some food, a nap, and all this planning to be over with. Wish we would have eloped to Cancun. Would have been ten times as fun and half as expensive. And if we make it through without Uncle Berry copping a feel, it'll be a minor miracle.'
I’m happy. Sure I am. Why would I not be happy? Perfectly happy. Happy happy happy
I thought maybe she'd throw the thing down and run back to me. It was a pretty cool wedding though.
RELATED: Miriam Webster Updates 'Happyish' with 'Dread'
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