Setting Healthy Boundaries Between Adult Children and Parents

with your parents as an adult isn’t always easy. But it may be necessary for your own well-being and the health of the relationship. therapy practice, put it, boundaries “describe your behavior, what you will do or how you will be when someone crosses them.”

We asked therapists what boundaries adult children might want to set with their parents. Below they share the ones you should consider and offer practical advice on how to have these conversations. Unfortunately, it’s not uncommon for parents to comment on their child’s body shape or size throughout their lives and into adulthood. These remarks tend toIt’s “most often coming from a ‘you should be skinnier or smaller’ perspective,” Caraballo said.

“This may be coming from a well-meaning place, or their anxiety, or mistrust in the adult child’s abilities,” he said. “Regardless of the origin, it’s often met with annoyance or strong anger from the adult child, which is a signal of a boundary violation.” “If you were raised in a family where respecting your parents meant your feelings and thoughts were dismissed, where silence was expected when the parent was making a mistake or causing pain to others, or you were punished by them removing love for and connection to you when you advocated for you or your family members, then setting this boundary can feel very uncomfortable,” Hart said.

Normally, you might be so unsettled by your parents being upset with you that you’d book a flight home anyway to try to smooth things over. Perhaps, growing up, your family took a vacation to the same spot every August. But with your limited PTO, you’d prefer to spend that time off volunteering. Or maybe you visited your parents every Sunday for dinner for years and years. And now that you have kids, you’d rather occasionally spend the day at your own house instead of driving back and forth to Grandma and Grandpa’s.

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