BDaveWalters
$Angel is actually exceeding my expectations It looks ready for $0.20, The dip is always the best time to buy in before the massive pump Polylauncher Polygon Metaverse
interwebCheese You sure it wasn’t those Jewish space lasers?
Welp this ones my favorite 😂
Would he count as an unidentified flying object?
HenryRambow Whaaaat?
That one’s probably true
GordoShumy 🤣🤣
jooy_mapa
shan9645
mikefranchina_
Silver lining: Military records an explosive prophet this year.
Bruh
awkwardtobehold
I thought I.C.E. claimed responsibility for this?
Okay, this is the funniest thing I've seen all day.
Are they sure it was Jesus? A lot of Republicans have a hard time distinguishing between Jesus and Donald Trump.
One down, two to go…
ThinkHyyer
boatzilla British band TheThe basically called this in 1990, in their song ‘Armageddon Days’.
The three day respawn counter has started.
Lmao 🤣 🤣 🤣
no!!!!!
Oops.
let jesus in jesus christ
He might have warned us that he’d be coming back.
Fucking illegal immigrants
'Welll, shoot! So much for the rapture!'
Guess he wasn't playing in God mode...
Not sure who to ask ... Where does the 1.9 trillion dollars come from !?!? StimulusCheck america money economics Reliefbill
Fucking LOLZ!
Most likely outcome
DjPitts254 😂😂😂
tough
hannahvanamber omg 😂😂
Thank fuck! Don't want anyone preaching that hippy dippy socialism crap. Kill 'em all I say!
Welcome to 'Merica motherfucker🇺🇸🍗 🍔 🔫🚀💵🚬
Jesus shoulda come back as a white guy, they would’ve let him go anywhere.
SkepticusX Hi
lol this is a good one
RealJeusHChrist u ok?
RioSlade MIC will not have their budget go to feed and clothe the poor, Jesus had to be stopped, peace isn’t profitable
shocking realization: every time the onion reruns this joke they down him again 👼
Oof...
Interesting...
Finally get to use this meme
Just wait 3 days
It was also reported that he used an anti semitic slur right before being hit.
Should have filed with the FAA and that wouldn’t have happened smh rookie mistake
RealJeusHChrist
Raytheon Stocks went up.
Our tax dollars at work.
I know it's sarcasm, but also depressing when you realize something like this is kind of one of the main reasons the nation state of Israel exists and continues to be propped up. NotAntiSemitismDontHurtMe
Finally, the military is used for some good!
The ironic, sarcastic part is the Missile Defense...not the JC (i think?)
DarkViperAU
Space Force protected us..
Not that funny though being anti religion & believing that CHRIST was nothing more than another ancient religious REFORMER nothing else...LMAO.
Soooooooup
This sounds disturbingly like something that would happen in real life
Well done.
duhkhan
hutchinson The gays are safe yet again. Try harder next time Christians.
hutchinson We got him.
When ppl say bee is much funnier than onion these days they weren't talking about the dumb religious jokes
I know its fake but like dang man as a christian this would be depressing
Jesus after the dust clears lol
Negative Ghost rider. It's more likely to be the Iron Dome. Granted, that was paid for by the US.
So this his second coming or what is it? How many times have they said he died and rose? This guy a cat cuz they make him sound like he has nine lives...
koimaardalo IM DYING
Dude if he landed on the US he’d be cancelled anyway. Guy has a 2000 year old mentality
We're back, baby!
😭😭😭
That does it. We're all going to Hell. 🤣
timeninja888
This is layered. I love it.
Protecting America from socialism.
He had a pre existing condition and was a wanted felon, they were just standing their ground
FreeCarnage BozonParticle idkwtftodohere
damn!
Wow. That's impressive!
THAT'S THAT AMERICAN AIR SUPERIORITY U S A! U S A! U S A! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸
Ok….who pressed the red button? It’s ok….let’s wait three days and see🧐
I haven't laughed this hard at something on the internet in a while.
I love this one
i think was justified he couldve been a spy for the russians
Oh wow, they found a way to shoot down things that don't exist.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 so true
He had his turn, look how that turned out.
HNTurtledove ?
not again
Immigration reform.
He did not return his tray to the upright position
Dang, another three day delay
Well, somebody is going to be court-martialed, convicted and sentenced to an Eternal sentence at Ft Leavenworth.
Lol this one got me
Whew, close one.
If only Jesus had given the👌sign upon the descension-ascension mission. Maybe he can try again 3 days from now. . .
BULLSEYE !
tell them to be ready on the third day
Blasphemous!!!! They only try this with Christ and Christians
The lens flare really completes this image.
Don't count him out just yet.
'radical socialist Jesus Christ'
Admittedly the 1000 year Reign of Christ would be a threat to the US' position as a major world superpower.
HAHAHA I literally thought about this, no knew idea under the sun 😂
Wtf
'why have you forsaken me?!?!' - Jesus christ
'Merica
Imagine
traytaymakeup Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and the Donkey!
FrancisWegner BAD move Trump. You'll pay for this one in HELL.
williamlegate
williamlegate hey that's not funny at all
Funny. Now do Mohammed.
burger king just said damn, the onion shoots jesus, gunna be a good year after all
Nope... But when He does arrive, your knees WILL bow, and your haughtiness WILL cease! Behold, he cometh with clouds; and every eye shall see him, and they also which pierced him: and all kindreds of the earth shall wail because of him. Even so, Amen. (Revelation of John 1:7)
This would have been funnier if it was Iran.
You forget. Michael..and the millions of angels....look out
Lukewearechange Bet all the Christians are going to go... ballistic!
TBF, he is middle-eastern and didn't file a flight plan or have IFF mode III enabled.
Atheist be like
Breaking: missed the rapture.
Going after the TheBabylonBee are we?
yeskiri
I don't think they would succeed, but they would TRY!
WarrenHall9
Maybe NASA named something in his honor
Wow Not funny
There is no humor in sacrilege. Watch it!
Dammit, doesn't he know he should never hover below 50,000 feet!
sushisaihara As long as it wasn’t PiratesJesus 😂
The White House said Jesus was planning to attack 4 embassies. No evidence provided.
Jesus 'i totally did NOT see that comming - Dad didn't update me, darn, ok... let's wait another 2000 years.. ' Harry!.. get the chess board.. i'm back ! Yes, harry.. 2000 years.. mate..
Paula White Declares, 'Holy Shit!! I Don't Know What I Would Have Done. I Mean, I Used Him Like an ATM Machine!!'
Thankfully He can walk through walls. A missile or missile defense system would have no effect.
Wow this really triggered some people
Good job!
epic.
That’s from Rapturpalooza.
s8n
Lol
Oh you done it nao
Makes sense
theTimEverts
LOL
codycates2 BarberGGs
thisisiona_
Bad timing for this joke considering the recent shooting down of the Ukrainian jet in Iran. Please consider removing it.
DeReTodd
Odds are it would've been an Iranian missile.
Figures
ZaackHunt wrong but very funny
No worries, he'll rise again! Done it once he'll do it again!
Rapture Palooza was a prophecy predicting this
Iron dome
This is why we can't have nice things.
🤣🤣🤣
They sent him to Jesus... Oh wait!
2 for 2 lads
Dude can’t catch a break
Don’t tell SecPompeo.
Democrats blame global warming.
Holy smokes!
Oops
Omg 😂😂😂😂😂
:(
DarkPope is pleased
Unfollow
That could never happen EVER‼️
Doh,,, dude? What? What was that target?
Wouldn't he land in the Middle East though
good.
That seems more like a creative retelling of the first coming.
Mission accomplished
almurray This is News! I feel sorry for the evangelists.
Was it baby Jesus or full-size Jesus? Just sticking with your weeklong theme of child death.
O M F G
All that practice on those damn red balloons paid off!
Wouldn't the joke be more funny if it was downed by Iran? Considering they are the ones shooting down planes?
'Its a magical pony flying through the sky filled with magical rainbow-' 'Shoot it down'
DanaKChilds
I can actually see this happening.
thoughts and prayers 😔🙏
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