Researchers Suggest Wild Horses Don’t Have To Worry About Any Of This

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MILFORD, UT—Peering into the middle distance with evident longing for something better, something more, researchers from Columbia University confirmed Tuesday that wild horses don’t have to worry about this, but only run free on the plains with the wind their manes. “What we’ve found is that all these worries, these fears, these uncertainties mean nothing to a team of magnificent stallions galloping along the dust-strewn plains,” said Dr. Timothy Schneider, while the scientists paused to close their eyes as they vividly described the powerful haunches of the horses glistening in the western sunlight, pushing them ever onward toward the freedom that only they could ever know. “To live is to run and to run is to live—it’s all one and the same for these horses. That’s the way it’s always been for them out there in the unbroken wild. There’s no such thing as stress or disappointment when you’re out bounding toward the endless frontier. There’s only the blue sky above—so perfect blue, you’d swear it was a painting—and the hard clay below. That’s how it is for horses.” At press time, the researchers went on to suggest that maybe the reason we tame the splendor of wild horses is because of the haunting emptiness of our own lives.

 

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Nevertheless, we'll ride them some day.

Sounds fair, but there's still always that one horse that refuses to remove his towel while he showers in the gym.

McKGraKucPauNad They are so beautiful ❣️

I miss Horse_ebooks

Science has been wrong before.

1st) How do they sleep? 2nd) What do they eat? 3rd) How much do they earn? Then, we'll see...

I mean, yeah, but they ARE always tasked with attempting to drag someone away... which they CAN'T. Imagine being set up to fail your whole life.

Unless they want to, they don't even have to drag someone away from something.

Wild, wild horses, we’ll ride them some day.

Onion denied a pulitzer after the committee discovered 100s of past tweets by followers mentioning 'wasn't Onion supposed to be satire'

More like running for their lives from BLM roundups.

Why does this look like old Town road

There's an Aesop's tale that shows how conniving horses have only themselves to blame for getting saddled by humans

If you need your bills paid,send me a dm

They are born free....

I'm a simple (horse)girl. I see horses, I upvote

Again MSM is feeding you lies to brainwash the libtards into becoming gay, pagan, alien, baby-eating, gender-switching, round-Earthers. Pfft. Sheeple. Arizona women target serial killer of Heber wild horses via azfamily

Let all the Tigers loose too.

scottsimonsWVLA

Being pulled by their manes when doing it 'doggy style'.

Thank gawd. I was starting to worry, as were Jagger/Richards.

This exact thought crossed my mind earlier today

Good! Next time, Cruz can ride to Cancún.

cue Old and In The Way.

The only thing they have to worry about is when they have to film their next douche commercial.

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I thought The Onion was supposed to be satire! 😂😂😂

As long as they stay out of the damn hospital

trentvmathis tandin_chapman

If you only knew the horrors BLMWHB has in store for WildHorses

The Humane Society of the United States just created and funded a mass roundup plan with cattle ranching organizations. Over 50,000 wild horses will be removed from public lands and many are funneled to slaughter. There are no blue skies for them right now, just terror and death

They have so much more to worry about.

They have to worry about their babies being chased by metal monsters from the sky for hours until their legs break and the humans shoot them. A much better satire could be made about the wholly inept government agency that does this to them. BLM

They do have to worry about the corrupt government program that manages them and the scary public lands ranchers who will stop at nothing to make them disappear. It would be funny if it was close to the truth.

USA bureau of land management has done brutal stuff to wild horses in Utah the last 4 years

And they couldn’t drag me away.... Oh no !

LMFAO!!!!!

I'd argue getting shot at from a helicopter is a slightly bigger problem.

'That is until humans wrestle them up and put them to work,' said Old MacDonald to Mr. Ed.

I'm not wild about any of this myself.

THEREALRTU 🐎🐎🐎

Lucky mf...

Hey did you renew that union contract or what

Unless they're Arabians... then they have to worry about the headgear.

But they should. Selfish smh.

Further research confirms that they couldn't drag me away

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