Postal Service Releases Stamp With Anus On It To See If Anyone Cares What’s On Stamps Anymore

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WASHINGTON—In an effort to determine whether it should even bother trying anymore, the U.S. Postal Service issued a new stamp with an anus on it Thursday to see if people these days still care what is on their stamps. “We’ve put some pretty cool stuff on our stamps recently—a T. rex, the U.S.S. Missouri, Marvin Gaye—but does anyone really notice or appreciate the effort that goes into them?” said Postmaster General Megan Brennan, explaining the new stamp would be the first of several to feature hand-painted, photorealistic depictions of the puckered orifice. “Our plan is to find out by issuing a succession of increasingly graphic anus stamps over the course of the next year, from commemorative illustrations of the anuses of U.S. presidents to a ‘Sphincters in Space’ series honoring the bravery, and anuses, of America’s astronauts. If there’s an outcry, that’s fine, because then we’ll have confirmed people are still paying attention. Either way, there will be hairy assholes on all of your stamps from now on.” At press time, sources reported the Postal Service had received such an overwhelmingly positive response from the general public and stamp collectors alike that it was struggling to keep up with demand.

 

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ChristopherRude Glad stamps are self-stick now.....not good to have to lick an a- -!

kellyhugheswal1 That's an Anus? Looks like that omnipresent, all seeing 'eye' from Startrek, (60's version) LOL

Trump is finally on a stamp.

Is it self sticking or do I have to lick it.

Anal

No difference between that and POTUS.

It represents our president

ChristopherRude

How did they get trump to stay still long enough to take that photo?

Tweets Anus To See If Anyone Cares About Anymore

Hilarious

😅😄🤣😂 I would care, but I can't stop laughing.

zezrie That's a very symmetrical anus. Good job on that.

As long as they're not Scratch-n-Sniff.

Star light Star bright I wish I may, I wish I might Get the wish I wish tonight.

Where can I buy it? My local post office?

Stamp with Trumps face on it!

We all going to be licking some ass in 2020

Colbywinters

Trump will put his face on any product

Sphincter Door from Halo 3? Anyone?

ahurl17

This post stinks

Meanwhile Instagram blocks posts bc of slight nudity

It looks exactly like trump’s mouth. The resemblance is uncanny.

BettyGj

🤣🤣🤣

wandering_j Thoughts?

Lol! Shit, can I work for you guys?

ChristopherRude

Haha

This is snark.The Onion has always been smart and clever, this is trashy, base writing. Be the smartest folks in the room.

Best portrait of Trump I have ever seen. Why isn't this hanging in every government building. It is celebrating this rise of the asshole

sayhivolarius any idea who this belongs to?

annejanbrouwer The shittiest reason. srsly

I wouldn’t lick that stamp! Well maybe after a few drinks! 😂😂😂😂👍

I thought it was Trumps cats arse mouth

If they actually released that, I’m sure it would be a best seller. Just so you can use them exclusively for sending in your checks to bill collectors

Never thought I would say this: what a cute little anus!

Do you have to lick it? Seems wrong

Perfect combo

I thought that was a banana slice🍌😊

I thought it was an inverted nipple

That mouth looks mighty familiar. TraitorTrump

The “Under the Sea” Collection featuring the Chocolate Starfish

You sure that's not the Trump stamp?

We good

I preferred the younger butthole

😂😂🤣

Trump’s mouth.

I know stamp collectors who would go for this in a heartbeat.

🤣🤣🤣 good one!!!

Mail didn't arrive, mail late, mail opened, mail delivered to the wrong house, mail all transferred to someone else's house.... this response! Haha The post office is sending a message with this stamp in case we didn't get the day to day subtle messages the post office drops.

I hope it's a stick on and I don't have to lick it...

Really why not a man's penis or how about a woman's vagina, what the fuck is wrong with people these days, it seems like the older i get, the less intelligent people are, i mean look at who is in the White House.

ShamitaJay

A stamp of trumps face?

That’s a strange looking anus

🤣🤣

🤣

Thats gonna be worth some money someday

Very Presidential.

I thought that was a pic of one of the Kardashians (sp?) lips. Pick which one...

Today is the day Donald Trump officially became president.

Annual more like anal

That's a sand dollar

i especially like that it is a usa forever---always current and relevant

nice a stamp of Uranus 😀

DrJavaBeans

i'm having some anus shame right now because mine isn't nearly as pink or symmetrical as this one... thanks USPS.

I care.

you would think people would look to see if 60 other people have already made the joke they wanted to make before posting

I care ☹️

Scratch and sniff ?

No Exhaust, no exit, no escape Now wonder what would happen if the door was closed for a day two days.. o dear a week Put it on the Stamp !

Nasty

A NU START

You spelled POTUS wrong!

Hehehe YUCK

I thought it was a selfie of IMPEACHED45

Stamps? What’s stamps?!

Scratch-n-sniff

Fellas... how many beers, huh?

THErealDVORAK

Good to see that they're still making presidential stamps, eh?

How Asinine can u get ! Stop production of this asinine stamp! I’d say ppl don’t care about what’s on a stamp especially if ur mailing bills ! Who cares ! Who stayed awake at nite thinkin of this asinine idea !

I zoomed in.

Seems like a 2019KiaSorento story

😂😂😂

Sirius!

Looks like the Wal-Mart logo.

the trump stamp.

Most Think It Represents A Pink Sand Dollar, And As A Result, Coral Beach Tourism Rises 500 Percent!

First time I’ve seen a chocolate starfish on a stamp before. It’s like a.. nasty asterisk.

I would not be licking that.......just sayin

This startled my cats

Why not? It's in Greendale Community College's flag as well. E Pluribus Anus.

There was a time when people cared whose anus it was

This is how TeenVogue sends out their magazines.

So... are you supposed to lick *both* sides?

I’d buy it!

The First Amendment protects the right to petition the government for redress of grievances, but you still gotta buy the postage to do it.

His face looks less orange...

Mozart edition

'Postal Service Releases Stamp With Anus On It To See If Anyone Cares What’s On Stamps Anymore' You're not allowed to have living Presidents on post stamps.

Lick it before you stick it 😝

I sure hope they're peel 'n stick, because I'm not licking it!

I hope they aren't the type you have to lick... Just asking for a friend.

Gross

ToiT

Or is it just an innie nipple?

It's too early to put Trump's face on a stamp.

45¢

Ehh, I'd buy a few.

He’s never looked more Presidential.

The official “WhiteHouse” STAMP! 🗣It even has a picture of a president on it‼️🤣🤣🤣

Oh no! This has to be a joke man! You gotta be kidding me if you think

still don't care lol

marcusbrig What’s a stamp?

Markgatiss The Trump likeness is amazing! LOL!!

I don't give a shit - pun intended

envirodale Copyright infringement? Or is it ok because they didn't use 'E Pluribus Anus'?

OMG are you serious?

Hosacome so many people know what a butthole looks like

Glad to see the 'hey that looks like our current president' -joke is well covered here.

NO!!! I CARE, THIS IS GROSS. PUT THE FLAG OUT !!

Ga penteng blasss

TheBigMark1278 didn’t know you worked for the post office now

This had me 'crackin' up'😆

is that NICKIMINAJ's famous anus? 🤔

Never seen a anus like that

Before posting something like that u need to warn a brotha. Nasty nightmares 4 at least a week.

Huh. So that's how it looks like.

JakeKirkpatric1 could this be real? 😂😂😂 I’m gonna start sending letters again!

'haha this is literally donnon trmup'

This just makes me giggle

his mouth?

Anus = Trump Give me likes you maggotary biggots

Hah?Apa?gimana

Hope it’s not scratch and sniff. 👃👀

TheRealDidiU Looks just like trump.

StairwaytoSe7en SMAydenYT

Do you have to lick it?

PabloFartz is this u

A Sphincter stamp!

😂🤣😂

tump

Asiri_Ocean naosalvo nem sei o que falar

The realDonaldTrump Commemorative Stamp

gariamray Free the asshole!! sign: FreeTheNipple

Beautiful

The trump stamp.

It's a shame they don't make them lick to stick anymore.

And stamp collectors rejoiced.

chrismunns wronger than wrong

Looks like Trump's lips when he's trying to drink water.

I'm deceased.

I'm not licking that...

Markgatiss Just when you think the US can’t make themselves look even more like a 🤡...SMH

What's a stamp?

Once you get past the smell, you got it licked

Markgatiss Is stamp rimming now a thing?

developing the porn market of stamp collectors. Finally someone who is interested in making a profit is running the place. Just imagine the rare misprints.

Presidential portrait?

Hmm...tongue only...💩

Markgatiss Who did trump pay to get on a stamp? They don’t put living people on stamps!

That was their Stamp for Trump and the GOP sir.

I thought it was another Trump parody until I read it😁😄😄😄😄😄

FATJEW buy that post office!

TrumpStamp

RealGoldyG can you confirm this report?

Damn, thought it was Trump until I read the headline

Has Trump had some work done , anyway congratulations on the stamp realDonaldTrump .

marcusbrig Is that your face realDonaldTrump asking for a friend?

Could have gone without the picture

animeluvr96 poolparty666 WBMC official stamp

I mistook that for a Mitch McConnell commemorative stamp. (I see now that this one isn’t wearing glasses.)

Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop collecting stamps.

🤢

BigVanilla11 nickbaltz quivering

Stamps are a good hedge against inflation. If anyone still buys stamps. Does anyone still buy stamps?

GretaThunberg edition?

Better not be a scratch and sniff!

You said 'clown-world' Well paid people actually wasted time evaluating propositions, and collectively choosing the anus design! Bravo!

What are stamps?

RevDJEsq The rosebud 😏

What crap did they send me now?! 🤣

Markgatiss Charming

Rim it

Vonnegut would approve.

That's one to sphinct about

Between Executive (TV watching) time, ripping off contractors, tweeting and golfing, when did Trump find the time to pose for the picture?

Some would long for the days when you still had to lick stamps.

DONALD TRUMP IS BUTTHOLE HAHAHAHA

Ewwww

Unbelievable. .. & the ppl are applauding Im glad i rarely use stamps.

A case of recto on verso. What world are we in?

Did Trump approve of his likeness prior? 😱

Licking stamps has never been this tasty

Whatever you do, just don't throw a lady nipple on there.

Thank heavens you don't have to lick stamps any more.

Finally! A postage stamp that represents many modern Americans! 🙌

Do they have any that aren’t self-adhesive? Asking for a friend.

Markgatiss OMG That's hilarious. Did anyone care?

Welcome to Greendale!

I thought it was a portrait of President Trump...

That's the backside of the stamp. The part you're supposed to lick.

mbt103 goddamnit onion!!! Truth

hahahahahahhahahahahaah deja_moo75 GrandmastaShash

The speed at which morality is falling, has reached terminal velocity. Very dissapointed

😂😂😂😂😂

Commemorative Balloon Knot

It should be titled 'DT in repose.'

Now that you don't have to lick them.

The new Trump stamp? Looks just like him!

Markgatiss I thought it was a new prezidential stamp to honor our current potus.

Looks like realDonaldTrump found a loophole to get around the 'no living person' on a postage stamp rule.

Shameful.

Harry Anus is Donald Trump's soon to be prison nickname.

Is the stamp a scratch and sniff tho?

What it needs is a story so we care whose anus it is and why it’s on a stamp.

Generic photo covers the entire Trump clan.

Trump made it onto a stamp. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

I think the real news here is that the Postal Service still exists.

Just in time for Goatse's 20th anniversary too

Markgatiss Nice to see they've finally put a serving president's likeness on a stamp

Trump's the only president to get his face on a stamp while in office.

Ah yes, from the infamous “Balloon Knot” series.!

I thought that was a stamp of realDonaldTrump

Because the postal service are pretty anal when it comes to their jobs 😂

I do hope the’re self adhesive!

First stamp where you have to lick the front

That’s a man who likes what he sees...

Im back

I don’t think Trump deserves his likeness on a stamp

Hey, a Donald Trump commemorative stamp before the end of his first and only term!

They released a stamp with trump on it?

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