Panicked Woman Scrambles To Write Down ‘$750’ Before 24-Hour News Cycle Wipes Memory Clean

DULUTH, ID—Throwing open drawers and tossing the entire contents on the floor as part of her desperate search, local woman Lisa Rhodes was reportedly scrambling Monday to find a pen and paper to write down “$750before the 24-hour news cycle completely wiped her memory clean.

Federal Income Tax’’ over and over to herself as the knowledge of the bombshell report outlining the president’s chronic tax avoidance already began to fade. “Here we are...? Damn, it’s gone.” At press time, a confused Rhodes was staring at a slip of paper featuring a handwritten number “7,” which she could only assume had something to do with the upcoming Supreme Court nomination fight.

Not forgetting!!!!

MorganProvost Memento the political travesty

She only got to 7 and after her eyes had refocused, started checking boxes in case they had heads in them

edroso

Mark_Sheppard HAH! So very, very funny! And, unfortunately, so absolutely true

yourauntemma 😂

BradleyWhitford No effing shit.

Bwahaha!!!!

BradleyWhitford 2020: Oh that’s right. I totally forgot about that.

BradleyWhitford The news has a very short attention span.

katherinemiller

Popehat Tomorrow.

filmystic

katherinemiller

this would be an interesting movie concept, groundhog day esque news cycle

Why not write $1000? Or $10000? That’s what I would write

Don't you mean 24 minute news cycle?

snipeyhead Good this is so spot on.

SoozieCuzie Lmfao

THIS is genius. THIS is theonion I know and love!

Good thing she's not in charge of the office Starbucks run. We take our coffee very.....seriously. And she just is not up to the task, it seems.

Sorry! We've moved on to Cambridge Analytica's targeting Black voters so they don't vote.

😂

It me.

On my way to tattoo $750 to my forehead

what scandal are we on now i've lost count

'hi. i'm the mainstream media. have we run this story before? y'see, i have this condition...'

Loses celibacy from local ambulance escorted by police

lol

Funny because it’s true...

Sometimes, it's so accurate it's not funny.

Oh Onion, if this was a competition the Bee would be beating you in headlines. It's great having both of you around though.

I look in the mirror and stare at my “He pardoned Roger Stone” chest tattoo in terror and confusion

Lmao, this is one of the best ones.

Genius.

MaxBoot And the fatal flaw in US politics is revealed.

I wanna know who was the first person to tweet that the situation is taxing

Password sticky note: Mueller Impeachment Covid/200,000 Losers/Suckers $750

Panicked orange man offers free penthouse apartment in large tower to murderous Russian dictator in exchange for financial bailout.

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Ordinary People Are Sharing All The Times They Paid More Income Tax Than Donald Trump'I paid more than $750 in income taxes working 39 hours a week at Starbucks during college.' I paid more taxes than Trump when I was a teenager! the story actually says he paid $1 million in 2016 and $4,2 million in 2017. Did you not read it? Double down on gaslighting cause that's what liars do......
Source: BuzzFeed - 🏆 730. / 51 Read more »

Trump calls New York Times report of him paying just $750 in taxes 'fake news'The lengthy investigative article also said that the president paid no income taxes in 10 of the previous 15 years. another mediascum and you call this news? what's going on with NY NYC and business? How to stop the exodus? safety in subway etc? $750.00 If it’s so fake then produce the returns.
Source: Newsweek - 🏆 468. / 52 Read more »

Trump Blasts Bombshell Report On His $750 U.S. Tax Bills As 'Fake News'Trump paid no federal income taxes in 10 of 15 years before 2016, The New York Times reported. DebraMessing i always thought he was talking about his penis in that picture DebraMessing This lowly woman paid more than that last year, you criminal😡 VoteBlueToEndThisNightmare DebraMessing I’m a retail salesperson and I paid more taxes than Donald j trump... pass it on!
Source: HuffPostWomen - 🏆 27. / 68 Read more »

$0 Would Have Almost Been Less InsultingThe New York Times has finally landed its white whale: Trump’s tax returns, going back more than two decades. The biggest finding from the bombshell investigation, which dropped early Sunday evening, is that the president paid just $750 in federal income tax in 2016. He paid the same amount the following year—the first he was in office—and he paid no federal income tax at all in 11 of the 18 years the Times examined.\n But might have triggered some alarms .. What is worse is that he probably cut the check from his faux-charity.
Source: Jezebel - 🏆 153. / 63 Read more »

Trump paid only $750 in U.S. income taxes in 2016 and 2017, New York Times reportsPresident Trump paid no federal income taxes in 10 of the past 15 years and wrote off homes and haircare, according to a report in the New York Times. In 1978, my Navy E-5 spouse & I paid 2x more in taxes than trump paid in 2016. To be honest, we did get a refund of $82. wow That's a lot more than the $0 Amazon paid + other billionaires
Source: latimes - 🏆 11. / 82 Read more »