My girlfriends and I always take a big weekend trip out of state in the fall and we’ve started the planning process. For years, it was just us gals — usually four of us, though every now and then, someone would sit a weekend out because of work or life. This tradition has gone on since college, and it’s something we all look forward to.
The problem is my girlfriend “Megan” plans to bring her new boyfriend, “Dan.” Dan is loud, opinionated, talks over people, always has to have the last word, and loves to argue for fun — sometimes it’s like he takes an opposite opinion just to verbally fight. He’s also super cheap. He’s the guy that will order a round of shots, then magically disappear before the bill arrives. I can see that creating all kinds of issues on a trip where we all work hard to share costs.
Sometimes people like Dan — who are loud, and like to be in the middle of things, and heard — need a clear job to do, something to make them feel seen and valued. Maybe Dan is a master on the grill, or great at keeping the campfire going? Some in-advance exploratory conversations with Megan about what makes Dan happy might help him feel more comfortable and like he’s contributing and fitting in, rather than competing and standing out.
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