Top government administrators, who confirmed they had gone to great lengths in recent years to ensure the United States received extra attention in subjects such as math, science, and the language arts, said they have come to believe that, at the end of the day, perhaps the country simply does not excel in a classroom setting.“When it comes down to it, school isn’t for everyone,” said Education Secretary John King Jr.
“Just because our population doesn’t thrive academically doesn’t mean it can’t go on to have a significant impact on the world.”Officials said they have experimented with an array of different teaching styles, but found the nation remained distracted even during one-on-one tutoring sessions, and had almost nothing of relevance to say during open classroom discussions.
According to the government, after a last-ditch measure to prescribe attention-deficit medications failed to appreciably improve results, it was finally forced to come to terms with the idea that school just isn’t a good fit for the nation’s temperament.
“We’ve given traditional schooling a shot, and it simply hasn’t worked out,” he added. “Now, we just need to find a track that better suits the U.S.”King went on to state that it’s not fair to compare the United States directly to other countries, which may benefit from a more stable background and have wider access to important resources.
“There are other things America can do instead,” King said. “For example, vocational training can be every bit as useful as higher education. That’s one option.”He added: “And of course, there’s always the military. They definitely seem open to that.”
Source: Education Headlines (educationheadlines.net)
cheryl_marlin It gives the peasants ideas that are way above their stations.
😡😡😡😡😡😡
Can't have school shootings without schools. bigthink
Parents surprised their child is unemployable after making every possible excuse for 21 years.
Yeah but killing is definitely our thing so, we're getting there.
Ptmurf1016 Must be repiblicant officials since they think colleges brainwash you😂😂😂
How many lefties out there craning their wrist, tilting the paper, or both? How about Team “I won’t do what you tell me” and write left-to-right like a rightie, smudged fingers be damned?
The Onion simply can’t keep up with real life absurdity anymore. 🤣
CC: Betsy DeVos
timmerenginerd Lol! The military😄😄
Hey, simply being American is all we need now.
Hilarious 😆
Nation not feeling the flow
Seriously, do you guys just look for actual headlines to reprint these days 👇 TN Republican: To Save America, We Must “Get Rid” of “Higher Education”
It's funny cuz it's true. I ♥️ The Onion.
United States Latest News, United States Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Source: BuzzFeed - 🏆 730. / 51 Read more »
Source: Yahoo Lifestyle - 🏆 365. / 59 Read more »
Source: BuzzFeed - 🏆 730. / 51 Read more »
Source: ABC - 🏆 471. / 51 Read more »
Source: WSJ - 🏆 98. / 63 Read more »