WASHINGTON—Smiling sweetly in an effort to make themselves clear, the U.S. populace confirmed Tuesday they were glad they could spend $450 million for an astronaut to have a little epiphany about humanity’s place in the universe.
“We’re always happy to help, and just delighted to shell out whatever you need so you can look down at the Earth and say ‘Wow,’” said a representative for the American people, who assured the country’s astronauts that of all the projects the nation could possibly be funding, there’s nothing they’d rather be subsidizing than their little trip into the sky.
While millions of people starve.
Americans keep going to space and spending 100s of millions of dollars, but did they ever bring the aliens ant souveniers ?
lmao
It’s like living through your kids on a grander scale.
...kinda makes you wanna burst into song?
I mean, it’s leagues better than the $733 billion we’re spending on blowing up hospitals in the Middle East.
😂😂😢
That’s actually pretty good.
As always...the onion nails the underlying truth.
hahaha
we're the ants of the mammal class
The best epiphanies happen when you’re really high
Now imagine that this is just 0.05% of the US defense budget...
LMAOOOOOOO i hate yall 😭😭
As a special bonus, space junk is included in your order
LOL
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