aren't friends, brothers are brothers — closer than a friend, and someone that you don't get to choose. My brother is the yin to my yang; we can't be more different from one another, but that's why we complement each other.
What's different now that we're adults is that our actions are a choice, whereas growing up, they weren't. Though we have our own circle of friends, we share a lot of mutual, too, because we were always together growing up. I never have to worry that if I brought Thomas to a party with my friends he'd never met, he wouldn't fit in or be awkward — we complement each other.
My sister is a single mom, so we get to share being an uncle and navigating that together. My nephew Alexander takes full advantage of this package deal, from playing basketball with Thomas to making all school art projects with me, so we've got everything covered with my sister as the CEO of the operation. We have"uncle days" where Thomas and I take my nephew on an adventure — our last one being to the Museum of Natural History in New York City.
A few summers ago, Thomas took a job in Iowa as a prep college basketball coach, 1,000 miles away from where we live in New Jersey. When he first left, it was weird because I didn't have my shadow anymore. I never realized how much I depended on it, and for the first time, I was just"James." The balance was off; going out to bars with our mutual friends, we'd just spend the beginning of the night talking about how weird it was without Thomas.
After three years in Iowa, Thomas moved back to New Jersey, and it feels like the good old days again. I feel like a part of me is back, and I get to be a package deal again, while still having space to forge our different paths. It's funny how no matter how much time passes, certain people can just pick right back up as if it was no time at all., they gave me one to share. Looking back on my upbringing, it was never just me but always with my brother and sister.
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