There he is, sitting in the corner of your house as your family eats dinner, watching you on the treadmill at the gym, following you into the bathroom stall at work, all the while mumbling and taking notes on a weathered yellow
legal pad. While it’s hard to remember a time before Marty, as if Marty wasn’t a standard aspect of everyday life, not unlike the air we breathe, he is in reality a low-level employee of the NSA, assigned your case as recently as 2003.
This shit gonna age poorly DHSLeaks
Considering everything, at least it shows they are good at something.
The government knows how much you lied about your weight on your driver’s license.
Connect any phone or device to the internet even vpn,they can spy on you
It’s becoming truly amazing how much better the Babylon Bee is than The Onion.
More reasons to VOTE AMERICA FIRST
Me, hey government guy,what are you doing in my yard? Taking a core sample. Me,but you’re right on top of my septic system! Gov’t guy, exactly. I’m
If you're doing anything wrong, you'll spend every waking hour proving it.
That would explain the 180° transformation when 'mum' was reading 'Flowers in the attic'.
Trumpy qidiots already believe this. JFK Jr was supposed to come back from the dead to save them.
Sure, I was a little pissed off when the government failed to permit new housing for decades, mismanaged healthcare, education and public infrastructure, but when they started remembering facts about me, boy-oh-boy I got mad!
Yeah I saw this on westworld
le sigh… as well as every scrap of your digital data (offline and online) and personality profilings.
Hi NSA 👋
They put cameras on rats that crawl up your toilet.
Yawn. Enjoy my hairy butt.
They know if your eating too much from your car seat scale.
😂
Actually, this was scary. Do you remember what Edward Snowden said? That ... the US, through its spy service, can hear & know, all the internal secret talks of the leaders of other countries? Walls have eyes & ears.
My dad has been saying this since I was 12.
real
Used to argue with a paranoid coworker about this. He believed govt watched everyone all the time. Soooo a govt worker is watching you, and another worker is watching them, and another worker is watching them. So how many people do you think are working for the govt?
If a dipshit-quipper didnt have other dipshit-quippers, would they be funny to anyone ?
'IT'S THE GOVERNMENT!! 😱' Guy at 15-minutes-only computers 12 years ago, on computer 2 only, at the WestlaLibrary, who's probably still on it four hours a day.
Does Q know?
It has been that way since Big Brother has been in (the) government 🤷🏻♂️ 😂🤣😂
5% have weaker connections.
Of course, 90% are informing others thanks to their social media activity
jesus christ y'all
I already knew that
Some Lil Wayne such a great song :)
Related: U.S. Government Asks Citizens Please Stop Informing On 95% Of Americans Because Spy Agencies Losing Workers To Boredom And Resentment
I wouldn't be so paranoid if everyone weren't out to get me.
Thank goodness someone is paying attention.
Sounds right.
Some of them aren't even satire at this point.
Nobody caress enough to like even my most brilliant tweets. The government tracking my every move feels like an honour. *Whispers sexily* You’re so Big Brother, Government Daddy. You want to watch 🥺👉🏻👈🏻❤️
My jaw absolutely dropped with 18
Well they wasted their time
Tracking of PM for decades, proves to be so monotonous, agents demand transfers to a more interesting unit tracking golf tournaments.
nottheonion
If only. Then someone could tell me where the hell I left my car keys. Those fobs are a rip off.
They allow me to keep just enough of the money I earn so that I can afford to buy all the cool gadgets that were created to spy on me.
In my country, people who have been vaccinated, get a vaccine card, & are registered on a special website, containing all personal data. Vaccine cards, & their applications must installed on your cellphone.
I can't believe Marty would do that to me.
I see microchips in my doodoo.
I can't believe this list didn't include Jeff, the federal colon polyp czar, because ever Tuesday when he sticks his hand up my butt, I have a sneaking suspicion he's not actually looking for polyps. 😐
The next post below yours: Priceless.
If they are spying on me then they are gonna see alot of cat videos and diy vehicle repair.
The microchip must have been made by Microsoft, such as a barcode + gps tracking system, so you are completely recorded & tracked on their system. It is unknown what they did it for.
No one said cookies* 🥺
I believe that they're putting those chips into fruitcakes. You know, they just sit around collecting dust... and listening.
Ouch Onion! “The government uses its prison and economic systems to secretly determine how much you care about other people.”
They are putting the chips in Ivermectin
😱
I was very disappointed I wasn't magnetized , it would have been a very convenient side effect for me I keep losing my key
I ate a pizza and now I can tell where the International Space Station is at all times. Thanks, Bill Gates!
Chips go to waste. 🤭
The mouth is Nature’s vaccine hole.
Microchips in vaccines is ridiculous disinformation to disguise how the registration process surrenders you to despotic surveillance (using microchips)
YOU FIND A PERSON ON TINDER NAMED JOE WAITING TO MATCH WITH YOU
Putting onions in socks
Fox new fear porn is exactly this
One agent just popped out of my grocers freezer and handed me the pot pie he knew I wanted.😳
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