WASHINGTON—Paving the way for the committee to seek criminal charges against the political advisor, former Trump strategist Steve Bannon defied a subpoena from the January 6 Select Committee on the grounds that he would be digesting a whole wild boar over the next six months, sources confirmed Friday. “Unfortunately, Mr.
Bannon has already unhinged his jaw and must remain motionless through the the winter to properly digest the boar currently stored in his stomachs,” reads the statement issued through Bannon’s attorney, stressing that the former White House chief strategist had produced several gallons of highly pungent acid within his digestive track and found an ideal fungi-ridden stump where he could hibernate for months hidden away from potential predators.
Was it a Boar On the Floor?
He always looks a hobo that recently pilfered someone’s drying laundry. I would bet he’s barefoot right now.
He absolutely looks like a person suffering from alcoholism.
IvanCNN I knew he was a snake.
Bruh Paul Giamatti be lookin’ rough these days smh
Gag.
Who writes for the onion these days? Y’all suck big time .
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!! GOTTA LOVE IT. THROW THEIR NONSENSICAL CONFUSION RIGHT BACK AT THEM BANNON! YOU GO!! THAT'S THE BEST YET!!!!
Steve Bannon’s physical and moral decay is obvious. He looks extremely unhealthy. The subpoena still needs to be timely enforced.
Idk he does look like he has 'the itis' like a mf. Onion getting too close to the truth. 🤪😂😂
I thought that he was ready to molt.
First thing I thought.
There were better ways for him to make money😬🤷🏽♂️
Stevie Two-Shirts
That's one that may be true........
Woo Pig Sooie!
Can he not afford a check for skin cancer cause he needs it.
On grounds he *is wild boar
Ok, but I find cannibalism abhorrent.
Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse + Steve Bannon Steve Bannon is nominated to be the 5th Horseman. Steve will be eating his horse while riding it, a feat never performed before during an apocalypse.
Missed op: Bannon defies subpoena on grounds that he is on a specialized diet of bovine fecal matter. DOJ stated in a press conference that they are going to ignore this as Bannon is full of bull shit.
He looks like he’s getting ready to shed.
How does it feel to be the poor man's Babylon Bee?
There's no actual biology in this tweet.
That would be cannibalism.
Is he auditioning for the role of Ben Gunn in a new Treasure Island film?
Isn't it 'He's Digesting'? or He'll be Digesting? sumthin'
I thought you wrote satire?
Is Wild Boar a new brand of bottom shelf rye whiskey?
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