Miss Manners: When an injured elbow met a meddling stranger

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Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.

While dining alone at a family-friendly restaurant a couple of days ago, I was resting my forearm on the table as I ate my salad. I grew up in a family where we were reminded to keep our elbows off the table, and I still follow that rule when with family or friends. But I’m not as conscious of the rule when eating alone.

At the table closest to me was a family with three kids, probably between 8 and 12 years old. I heard one of the kids comment to their mother, “SHE has her elbow on the table.” I didn’t realize that SHE was me until the mother actually leaned towards me and said, “You know it’s impolite to put your elbows on the table when dining.”

It’s bothered me since then, and I’m now wondering if the rule about resting my arm on the table applies even when I’m dining alone -- or at least where others can see me.

 

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