Man Calms Down From Violent Rage After Seeing ‘Or Current Resident’ On Misaddressed Letter

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ROCKFORD, IL—Unclenching his fists as blood spilled from fingernail lacerations on his palms, area man Dan Collins reportedly calmed from a violent rage Tuesday after he noticed a misaddressed letter also included “or current resident” as the intended recipient. “Oh, thank God,” said Collins, panting as a pulsing vein…

ROCKFORD, IL—Unclenching his fists as blood spilled from fingernail lacerations on his palms, area man Dan Collins reportedly calmed from a violent rage Tuesday after he noticed a misaddressed letter also included “or current resident” as the intended recipient. “Oh, thank God,” said Collins, panting as a pulsing vein receded into his forehead and anger dissolved into recognition and finally into acceptance.

“The insult that I suffered upon receiving this piece of mail for one ‘Patrick Fox’—the nerve! My...name...isn’t...Patrick! Alright, Dan, it’s alright, here you are just a centimeter lower—‘current resident’—that’s me, alright. Good, my brain doesn’t feel hot anymore, and I no longer need to seek revenge upon my mailman in the form of a violent ambush, as I had planned just moments ago before I saw that ‘or.’ Whew! Close one.

 

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I’m tweeting my social medias. Yesterday, I didn’t use ‘em and people are thinking I was mad.

But the address was correct, the name was wrong, right? wronggifday gifdoesntmatch

I have always found 'or Current Resident' mildly insulting unless it's an awesome coupon.

Real men appreciate 'Bed, Bath, and Beyond Catalogues.'

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“From Hell’s Heart I stab at thee!”

Somebody else is living in your house. And not paying rent. And eating your Mac and cheese.

Ms. Addressed was my Postal History teacher in high school.

Too real. I don't know who Mario Johnson is, but I'm tired of his blood pressure spikes being delivered to my house.

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