L.A. Mayor Allocates $20 Million For Beautification Of City’s Sidewalk Residents

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LOS ANGELES—Claiming the aging, decrepit eyesores have been long overdue for a refurbishment, Los Angeles mayor Eric Garcetti reportedly allocated $20 million Thursday for the beautification of the city’s sidewalk residents. “Today, I am proud to announce that I have secured funding to begin making visual improvements of our city’s sidewalk dwellers,” said Garcetti , explaining that, as part of the initiative, public workers would begin cleaning up the neglected denizens, a move that will greatly boost property values and tourism revenue in the community. “For too long, Angelinos have been complaining about the sight of these dilapidated inhabitants, and the time has come to do something about it. It’s no longer enough to just try and hide them under a tarp or use high-pressure hoses to remove them from our streets; we need to make sure they look as pleasing as possible.” At press time, Garcetti had donned a hardhat and was swinging a sledgehammer at a dangerous, ramshackle sidewalk resident.

 

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SamHarrisOrg

This is actually happening in Indianapolis. They're spending about $2 million on sidewalks while the crime and homeless rate is increasing every year🤦‍♀️

NextLAMayor

Hysterical Headline 😂🤣😂

Keep Garcettiville Clean!

Public/private partnership with Amazon to give brand new Amazon branded boxes to the sidewalk residents as part of the program

No before and after pics

This sounds like the perfect job for Ed Hardy.

I could see this shit happen any day now

Guess how much kickback he is getting from the construction company that was awarded the contract.

Help with camping equipment is needed.

Slap a coat of paint on them.

Samminish1 Oh boy all the street people are going to get one room appointments on the sidewalks of LA

Truly disappointed how many people don't realize this is The Onion.

Maybe redo the roof

In other words, so up office jobs for some of his friends.

First smart thing he's done

Nope. Not funny.

This is a joke right

im one of his substantial donors and i will have words with him in private about using city funds to help the homeless

Tammy Faye makeup?

Being homeless doesn't have to mean being styleless.

MayorOfLA

MayorOfLA 😂😂

MayorOfLA Finally!

MayorOfLA Just buy them bus tickets and send them back to the state which they came from

MayorOfLA Even when I read the article it didn't seem beyond what the mayor would actually do.

MayorOfLA Does that include a haircut? I could use one.

MayorOfLA Oops

MayorOfLA

MayorOfLA Beautify the residents? Where do I sign up?

MayorOfLA Looks like Pep Guardiola with hair.

MayorOfLA If you just dump a bunch of motorized rental scooters between every three to four 'sidewalk residents', they definitely appear more fun.

MayorOfLA Sounds like something my Mayor would do....

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