L.A. Affairs: I had no idea what a healthy relationship was supposed to look like

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I believed him when he said it was because he loved me. His words echoed antiquated messages I had absorbed since childhood: that boys are mean to you because they like you; that love is supposed to hurt.

Slowly, all kinds of cruel, manipulative behavior began to seem normal. When I did listen to my gut and push back, he denied his behavior completely, called me crazy or insisted that I “made him” mistreat me. I learned to blame myself for his misconduct. I didn’t think I deserved better.

We had so much fun that I barely registered that when my grandma died, he made no attempt to comfort me. When his Chihuahua bit me on the nose, he snapped at me, “What did you do to her?” as blood dripped down my face. Of course, in time we did fight, and shortly afterward he informed me that he wanted our relationship to be “more casual.” Stunned into inaction, I got in bed next to him. My hurt and anger grew as he slept peacefully beside me. None of my dating experiences had worked out, and now this one was a failure too.As I lay there in the dark, I saw that as much as I doubted myself and my choices in men, my intuition about each of my recent dates had actually been right on.

 

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She likes the bad boys lol.

Gavin Newsom?

Long time LA TIMES reader here. (Multiple decades) I don't appreciate this series.

Sounds descriptive of abusive and toxic Woke SJWs.

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