J.K. Rowling Revealed To Be Pseudonym For Newt Gingrich

WASHINGTON—Following news that author J.K. Rowling had secretly authored the crime novelunder the pen name Robert Galbraith earlier this year, multiple reports confirmed today that Rowling, widely known as the author of the popular Harry Potter series of books, is actually the longtime pseudonym of former house speaker Newt Gingrich, who created the boy wizard and penned all seven of the bestselling novels.

“Assuming a fake identity really gave me a lot of freedom to build out the world of Hogwarts and flesh out the characters without drawing unwanted attention to myself or having the novels associated in any way with my political career,” Gingrich said in a statement, confirming reports he wrote the first four books in the fantasy series while still in office, but wrote the remainder before his 2012 presidential run.

beloved_june How sad that they now get lumped together

MihirBellamkon2 MihirBellamkon2 I read “anagram” instead of “pseudonym” and was really trying to make that work in my brain.

jk_rowling

I always knew

FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP FRAZZLEDRIP

GretaG250

Giuseppe Stromboli

Lmao

I thought a newt was a salamander.

Makes perfect’effing sense. I’m embarrassed I didn’t see that.

The Half Blood Prick

A swing and a miss on this one. Prioritizing the safety of girls/women doesn't make you an old conservative. If it does...the ground has definitely shifted.

ta for the painful snort again, Onion. 😆🤣

Also the synonym.

Son of a-

omg that face is the most frightening thing I have seen a long time

😂

Onion may not be reliable, but they sure know how to write some good shit

This made me snort lol I needed a good laugh today

Holy MF!

*of

He’s pretty good at writing fantasy fiction.

I FUCKING KNEW IT

He really tuned down his style, but I guess it was to break into the YA market.

Even in this world of insanity, you guys never let me down. Thanks for that.

I don't believe you. No-one in the world is named Newt. Not even a children's fantasy author

lmaooooo

Totally explains Newt Scamander.

Hope he (or she) doesn't get cancer. They will be looking for a new spouse.

jk_rowling Thoughts? For once I actually care about your opinion.

What would we do without you

Lame... c'mon onion, you know better, trans cannot change their sex, they can only co-opt oppression

2013 holy shit

Wow. I thought it was actually JK Simmons the whole time.

Who had this in their 2020 apocalypse bingo!?

I FUCKING KNEW IT

Women's rights being for actual women is such a ridiculous idea.

Remember your 'grabblers video' I do... How fast are you going to delete it now?

Ouch

What a POS he is! Always was, always will be!

Kinda thought it was weird when he/she floated this as the new sorting hat.

LOL

jk_rowling

Original title: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of the Welfare State

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

JK Rowling wrote my Immortal. Giuseppe Stromboli wrote Harry Potter.

motherfuckin castin whiteus bloatedshitticus to fool us all

She cursed herself with the eye of a newt.

Careful, onion. She might try to sue

I KNEW IT. I HAVE BEEN SAYING THIS ALL ALONG.

make a sense to SPINE DITCH

LAWYER CONTACTING INTENSIFIES

😂 😆 she’s really let herself go after all those crappy tweets!

LMAOOOOOO imo yall should tag her, i won't snitch tag, but god damn i hope she sees this

They gonna hate this one but it's on point

Hahahahahaha!

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