I Tried to Make Fancy Summer Popsicles and Ruined Them

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“I got home from work feeling amped about my fancy popsicles. It’s summer, and I have popsicles, I thought. Anything is possible! The popsicles, it turned out, did not feel the same way”

Oops. Photo: Madeleine Aggeler Over Easy is a weekly food column by a 20-something woman who can barely cook an egg and just wants to learn how to throw together an elegant three-course meal for her friends.

When I was little, ice pops were my snack of choice during the summer. Some parent or hungover camp counselor would come outside with a big cooler, and all crafts/swimming/nose-picking ground to a halt as herds of small children thundered over to grab their favorite flavor. Everyone had their own method of consumption, but I liked to take my time. I’d carefully snip off the edge of the plastic tube, right at the top so as not to lose any of the high-fructose corn syrupy goodness inside.

Somehow I did manage to make it out of the Bed, the Bath, and the Beyond with popsicle molds and was able to pick up strawberries, rhubarb, and limes on my way home. The recipe calls for 2 ½ cups of diced rhubarb, which it says is about two stalks. When I diced up my two stalks, though — after first reading an article about how to dice rhubarb that told me to peel off the tough outer strands — I only had about 1 ¼ cup.

The next day, I got home from work feeling amped about my fancy popsicles. Maybe I’d eat one on my stoop, looking super cool and casual, like I’m a person who regularly sits outside instead of on her bed, in the dark, buried in 4–6 blankets. Maybe I’d go to the beach this weekend, or wear a sundress, or happen upon an impromptu drum circle and dance in the middle with my eyes blissfully closed and also I wouldn’t be wearing a bra. It’s summer, and I have popsicles, I thought.

 

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