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‘I Built This,’ Whispers Social Media Manager Beholding His Empire Of Successful Fuddruckers Tweets

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HOUSTON—Marveling at the glorious majesty of what he had created, social media manager Ryan McCann reportedly whispered “I built this” Monday while beholding his vast empire of successful Fuddruckers tweets. “All should gaze in awe and wonder at the brand-affirming Twitter content I hath wrought,” said McCann, scrolling through the fast-casual hamburger chain’s Twitter feed with quiet certitude that historians will one day study the abundant genius on display in the meme he crafted of American Gothic but with a burger sitting atop the pitchfork. “Even after this mortal form I inhabit turns to dust, these tweets will live on, an eternal monument to my legacy and the gourmet yet affordable burgers that Fuddruckers offers. I serve as merely a vessel of divine inspiration, and Twitter be my canvas. All hail Fuddruckers, all hail me!” At press time, McCann’s boss asked him to delete several tweets that failed to accurately convey the “Fuddruckers ethos.”

 

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It's funny because it's true. Thankfully we believe that social media can have a higher purpose.

Liberal fags

this hit close enough to home for me to give y’all the actual clicks for that. Well deserving of our sweet sweet engagement

1. We're flattered 2. My name is Fredo (not Ryan) 3. Please update my photo k thx bai

Wendys, have you seen this yet?

.....sheetz are u ok

JiggaRay

mattdpearce I made an 'I am not a moo-del' pun about a cow wildlifecam selfie and i will NEVER shut up about it. My Legacy.

QueenCityDisco

IAmSnoopy14

i've never been owned this hard

honestly feeling so attacked right now

Big brain time

steak_umm do you feel seen?

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