Walk At Least 12 Steps Per Day
It’s five steps from your bed to the bathroom and five steps back, so throw in 20% more steps and see those calories burn off in no time.Engineer A Global Famine That Will Decimate The World’s Food SupplyNot approved by the FDA, but it’s got a mean yellow scorpion on the label.Some say the soul weighs 22 grams, so its departure should have your corpse looking svelte.
'Have you considered actually trying to lose weight? We can’t do everything for you.' No, Onion. That's not how this works. You come up with a few genius words of wisdom, and all my flab disappears.
More like the most dangerous workout (for carbs!)
Witch begs a more important question. May I hop into those jeans with her?
Where do I join?
for added benefit, make it tax deductable
Lol. I need to watch The Pest again!!!
'wealthy billionaire' What other types are there?
I love 'The Most Dangerous Game' too
I mean, it’s a better deal than most insurances.
As long as the billionaire is wealthy... 😁
“The Most Dangerous Game/Running Man”
Even if you’re out of shape and get caught immediately, you can still see nearly instant results after shedding all of that fatty blood weight.
Meh. All cardio and no core growth. Fighting a moderate-sized bear covers both. You get the running, and, when caught, the core workout of fighting the bear off. Plus climbing of trees.
but honestly look how many people get svelte on the many seasons of survivor
I really advise you to use this weight loss supplement it worked on me, I lose a lot of weight in a short time, this is the link:
Hey did you see this amazing tips
Meth
DNP most kino way to lose weight fr
Perfection
Give Walt a shout.
I lost 12 lbs. in just 4 hours and now I keep that tumor in a jar on my desk. 🏅
skipping meals, or even whole days, works wonders
It should also be the wettest, from the standpoint of water...
spies_please we love thick water, don't we folks?
Am absolutely shocked that the Onion is promoting fat phobia. Unfollowed!
hmm, that body was never that big. onion not funny today.
In my dreams. Lol
This is the shortest 12 step program to weight loss ever 🤣
Is this a 12 step program for weight loss?
I just shit and piss myself in my bed and my Mom cleans it up. I'm 35 years old and have no disability. GodBlessAmerica
Jesus Christ onion
It works!
Laps to the kitchen work for me.
steps to the bathroom should count twice, since i'm rarely eating during that transit
This is lazy humor.
I have an amazing tip to lose weight fast. Cut off your left hand. You'll lose 15 lbs in a single day.
I've found that avoiding all junk food and restaurant food enhances summer weight loss and reduces winter weight gain. Oh, wait, would never, ever stoop so low as to suggest such a kooky idea. :)
I’m exhausted just reading that.
Does figuring out fractions help to lose weight?
I feel seen.😏😔
I am old enough to remember the “diet pills” containing tape-worm eggs that could be purchased from the ad-pages in 50s and 60s comic-books and sleazy magazines. Along with “sea-monkeys”, Thompson sub-machine guns, and military surplus Jeeps.
A good sign or not, a gas station that sells fried chicken gets a trucker's seal of approval
Gas station burrito and coffee will lead to neat immediate weight loss.
lipocision
7:32 PM · 26 мая 2021 г.·Sprout Social
Gas station pill
The darker they got, the harder I laughed.
If you don't want those pills, the crackheads in our parking lots prolly got some percocet or something
Mean yellow scorpions are known fat eaters.
You stole my jeans!
I mean...that's how you know it works. 🤷♀️
making me nostalgic for the good old days: dumping out capsules of Stacker 2 and doing lines of that gravely gray powder off a CD case the simple pleasures of youth
t lose your weight faster with this site i hav come over my 35 kgs of fat
“Drink thicker water” had me howling with laughter.
I've enhanced summer weight loss and reduced winter weight gain through a death-defying stunt called the All-Real-Food Diet. It consists of shunning junk food and restaurant food, eating only real food, and doubling down on superfoods. Take that, Biggest Loser! :)
I rely on my Wait For Summer Diet. It consists of waiting for the warm season to arrive and make it easy for me to eat less and exercise more. Take that, January diet gurus! :)
Wait hold on define 'a few'
The easiest way to lose weight is switching the scale from pounds to kilograms
😂
RealDoctorMike
cc DrNadolsky true?
Just shit a lot
Excellent! I knew this would work out.
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This is real
What a thirst trap
MaintenancePod ... at least half of these seem as plausible as your usual topics...
Our organs that eat the most calories are our brains. Think a lot, & reduce your food intakes, then you will become thin in no time, without being too tortured.
instructions unclear, ate the soul and now I'm even fatter
what the fuck are people doing to make their souls weigh so much
Evangelicals hate her! This woman sold her soul to the devil and lost 22 pounds!!
So I can kill myself and lose weight. 2 birds 1 stone baby
Grams? What kinda commie Eurotrash bullshit is that?
This explained my weight loss in 2020
hell yeah I get to die AND be skinny? Sign me up
and definitely worth it
im smokin mine rn
Pleeeease hire funny writers again...I miss the old onion from a few years ago
Drinking thicker water was right there.
I always wondered how Betsy Devos stayed so thin
i could probably afford to lose about 450 souls
My soul is made of high-velocity mushrooms. How much does that weigh?
Get PTSD, the days will fold on themselves and you will forget that your last meal was a week ago.
LMAO ... Skip The Elevator And Climb The Building’s Exterior
Awesome. What about those of us who can only eat lesser animal protein?
I tell people I was on My 600 lb. Life (I wasn't) and they say I look amazing.
Instructions unclear, dick stuck in toaster
wear bigger pants, got it
Avoiding junk food and restaurant food works wonders in enhancing summer weight loss and reducing winter weight gain. I have never before in my life eaten such a healthy diet. I don't starve myself - I just fill up on real food only. Take that, Biggest Loser! :)
Step 1: figure out your base calorie need to maintain weight. Step two: eat at least 400 less calories than that. Step three: exercise, you fat fuck. Step four: don't stop this until you're a healthy weight, then switch to base caloric intake, then focus on strength.
Stop eating
Love this 😂
death seems to be a very efficient way
Step 1- buy a pair of size 60 jeans and the job is done
Ok
Cucumber diet works best for me. I eat everything except cucumbers.
The simplest way is to lighten your wallets by sending me $19.99.
Avoiding junk food consumption enhances summer weight loss and reduces winter weight gain. I've also been doubling down on the superfoods. For some reason, I have yet to grow a third eye or gain spider powers. :)
i lost 5 lbs shedding my winter clothing layers.
My mom lost 260 overnight! Divorce does wonders for weight loss!
The easiest way is with a chainsaw
Losing weight is fatphobic wtf. It's all about body positivity these days.
divorcing the abusive, body critical partner helps a LOT! I lost 240 lbs in just 3 months!
Buy huge pants. Then compare. You will look like you have lost weight.
Dump your boyfriend.
Literally, stop eating.
Meh. How is sawing off your torso not on the list? Immediate results!
Typical click bait from the msm. Smh my head.
Speed and vodka.
ty
Cocaine
Amputation was too much a fad, it didn't make the 2021 list
Listen, someone had to mention the elephant in the room
I recommend Crystal Meth....you’ll lose the pounds, your teeth and your mind all at once. Trifecta!!!
I took up the Atkins diet and I feel better than ever
They work very well. 5 stars
BREAKING NEWS: deaf guy doesn’t hear the news he is deaf, he hears again!
Have any on how to gain weight fast?
Thats the shortest and fastest way.
The Soviet Union tried this once on a smaller scale, tips to them
Looking at the Sahara, been done many times before.
ТИПА МЕРТВОГО НЕ УБЬЕШЬ ?
How To Lose Weight? Fast.
Are you a fat and ugly ?
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