Jacobson, Sam, Surnames, Christopher Jacobson, Names

Jacobson, Sam

Man Opposes Taxing Rich Because He Knows One Day He Could Find $20 Bill On Ground

Man Opposes Taxing Rich Because He Knows One Day He Could Find $20 Bill On Ground

11 minutes ago

Man Opposes Taxing Rich Because He Knows One Day He Could Find $20 Bill On Ground

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Arguing that the nation’s top earners shouldn’t be punished simply for being successful and making a lot of money, local car wash attendant Christopher Jacobson told reporters Monday he opposed taxing the rich because he knew one day he might find a $20 bill on the ground. “You never know, I could be walking along the road and spot a cool, crisp Jackson, and the last thing I’d want is the government trying to take it,” said Jacobson , adding that while he knew the odds of ever coming into that type of wealth were slim to none, he had to be prepared just in case it were to happen. “Opportunities like that don’t come around every day. How fair is it for the IRS to swoop in the second I hit it big and grab a piece of my $20 jackpot? Plus, it’s a matter of principle: If I find any amount of money lying on the ground, whether it’s a $1 bill, a quarter, you name it—that should be mine and only mine. Uncle Sam sure as hell ain’t the one bending over to pick it up. The more you tax those earnings, the more you’re going to disincentivize people like me from pocketing those dollars when they come across them. At a certain point, why even bother?” Jacobson added that should he ever be lucky enough to stumble across a $20 bill, the first thing he’d do is shelter his gains by depositing the cash in a shadow account in the Cayman Islands.

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Arguing that the nation’s top earners shouldn’t be punished simply for being successful and making a lot of money, local car wash attendant Christopher Jacobson told reporters Monday he opposed taxing the rich because he knew one day he might find a $20 bill on the ground. “You never know, I could be walking along the road and spot a cool, crisp Jackson, and the last thing I’d want is the government trying to take it,” said Jacobson, adding that while he knew the odds of ever coming into that type of wealth were slim to none, he had to be prepared

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just in case it were to happen. “Opportunities like that don’t come around every day. How fair is it for the IRS to swoop in the second I hit it big and grab a piece of my $20 jackpot? Plus, it’s a matter of principle: If I find any amount of money lying on the ground, whether it’s a $1 bill, a quarter, you name it—that should be mine and only mine. Uncle Sam sure as hell ain’t the one bending over to pick it up. The more you tax those earnings, the more you’re going to disincentivize people like me from pocketing those dollars when they come across them. At a certain point, why even bother?” Jacobson added that should he ever be lucky enough to stumble across a $20 bill, the first thing he’d do is shelter his gains by depositing the cash in a shadow account in the Cayman Islands.

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Man's fantasies apparently based on complete ignorance of tax law If that ain't trickle down economy where some rich man 'accidentally' drops a dollar for a lazy man then I don't know what is anymore. Fun fact: w.a.p. dries up so don't invest in that. and the irs would know and they would tax it Z You think any billionaire has his/her wealth in cash? Of course not, it’s in investments and stock and bonds, etc etc. Taxing them more doesn’t pull their money out from under the bed, it removes from companies invested in the market, from bonds invested in a city etc.

Hey, show the billionaires some respect, they made it all on their own by treating workers like shit and moving money overseas to tax heavens! lol Because it is someones elses $20 which he has to look after for them, Giving the false impression he is $20 better off. The $20 is Tax Deductible. He clearly will not get rich if he cant play the system.

So concise it's funny... Yeah that 20 billion might only actually get him 10 billion after taxes, the horror! Once again, did a double take to make sure it was the Onion Why do all those Poor Suckers vote for the Rich Jerks that only take care of their Rich Buddies? I know people who depend on government Programs to survive, but vote for jerks that would like to cancel their next meal

Or win the lottery FowlCurtis This is every Elon Musk fan Taxing billionaires interferes with noblesse oblige, which is mostly a theory based on magical thinking. lucygravil me and you finding those tenners Average working american in a nutshell That’s pretty much how people think! Every conservative working stiff honestly believes he's one brilliant invention away from a mansion on a hill.

How mf selfish can that be💯💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 Same.. ..only hoping it’s a scratch off lottery ticket not to mention that even if he did find billions of dollars, he wouldn't be satisfied with just being 'very rich' instead of 'as rich as possible' or win the lottery That kind of wealth changes a person. At this point I don't even hide it anymore I am a fascist

That's why I leave money I find right where it is. I'm not playing the government's game. If they want a piece of that money, they can bend over and pick it up themselves. I’m holding out hope of finding a trillion dollar bill So true. behindyourback One day I hope to be born the child of billionaires.

No socialism, plz. ТЫ ЗЕФИР ДЛЯ ЗОИ ЛИКА МС ПС Literally every single middle or working class fiscal conservative. I used to work with him Look at the Onion laying truth on you. What is happening? ;p; 🤣🤣 Chinchillazllla 🤣🤣🤣🤣 unfollowed, not satirical enough 😠 the article is actually very funny because it mirrors the constant conservative phenomenon of running head-first into the point without acknowledging it

The man just wanted a peanut Liberals.jpg Conservatives.jpg